A Breath Of . . .

August 29, 2018

By Lindy Earl

. . . fresh air, right?  Don’t we all love a breath of fresh air? In the summer, it’s a cool breeze.  In the winter, it’s an invigorating breath.

Some people, by their very nature, are a breath of fresh air.  Are you?  Me? I’m not.

Some people offer a serenity when they enter a room.  There is a calmness about them.  Their voice, their mannerisms, their very being just lets you know that everything is okay and will remain okay.

I was so happy when I called my Credit Union today with a credit card question.  As soon as Tim (that’s really his name), answered and in a low and calm voice asked how he could help me, I just knew it was all going to be okay.  And it is!  How did this gentleman convey warmth and serenity in just a few words?

I don’t do that.  I bring energy into a room!  I’m too shy to bring the party with me, but I can get people talking and increase the energy.  When it’s my turn to be the emcee, I can have people participating and laughing.  I do not offer a calming effect.

Sadly, some people bring sadness.  It doesn’t matter if they are social media friends or from your childhood, when you see them, you just know that some sad story is waiting to be told.  I wonder if, as they share their troubles, they keep track of whom they’ve told, to squeeze every drop of sympathy from every person they know.

In reverse, there are people who spread happiness.  I don’t mean my type of energy, I mean the people who just remind you that life is good.  They just exude happiness. How do they do that?!  Are they really that happy all the time, or do they crash at the end of the day, having used their allotment?  I think they are, internally, incredibly happy people and they can’t contain the amount of joy they possess.  Thus it leaks out on the others who are lucky enough to be around them.

There are some who simply sap your strength, just by being near you.  The sad people above may do that.  Lethargic people do it as well.  They are just always tired – not enough sleep, too much to do, underpaid and overwhelmed.  You leave these people feeling exhausted, yet you were fine at the beginning of the conversation.

There are thinkers out there.  When you chat, it seems that they always have something serious on their mind.  This can either make you wonder what you’re missing or encourage you to be a deeper thinker.  I have clients who instill new ideas in me as we work together.  While it’s my job to help them, they get me thinking as well.  Sometimes they are so good at what they do that I have to think harder just to stay ahead.  That’s a good thing!  I love it.

Of course, a person could have several of these abilities.  They breeze in with happiness. When you ask why they are so happy, they tell you. That leaves you thinking, in a positive way.

Work to be a breath of something positive.  Whether you offer serenity or kindness or another attribute not discussed here, choose what you want to offer the world, and what you can do to leave people a little better off, just for having spent time with you.

Lindy is a Business Consultant and Speaker to individuals of all levels and for companies, churches, and organizations of all sizes.  In addition, she is an author and columnist.  Contact her at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com to speak to your corporation or organization.

Be a Better You With 6 Questions

By Lindy Earl

There is a theory in Marketing that you have to know yourself, in order to help yourself be more successful.  There are tests you can take to determine if you’re a lion or a bear.  I often teach the four selves in my seminars.  They are useful and helpful ways to learn about yourself.  That’s a different discussion.

I have six questions that I ask people when I’m training one-on-one or in small groups.  Let me share these, in the hopes that they help you, or help with working with your clients.

• What time of day works best for you? If you’re a morning person, then schedule your hardest, least liked projects in the morning, and get them out of the way.  That way you have the rest of the day to work on projects you enjoy.  Even if you’re tired, you’ll do the work well because it’s your enjoyable work.  If you don’t come awake until the street lights come on, then save your tedious work for the evening.  I have a client who saves all his paperwork for midnight, which he does in his home office after his family is in bed.  It works for him, and allows him to sleep late, which also works for him.
• Are you a procrastinator? While nobody likes to admit it, it’s good to know if this word describes you.  If you are, then use it.  If you’re a procrastinator, you’re probably good under deadlines.  Use your down time to enjoy yourself, knowing that you’ll pull it together at the last minute.  Too often people pretend to work, really not accomplishing much, until crunch time.  Admit you’re a procrastinator and use your time for other things until the deadline looms.
• Are you a good writer? Let’s face it, even in today’s world, you need to know how to write coherently.  If you can’t spell, don’t understand grammar, and can’t write a decent paragraph, then hire an English major.  Spellcheck and grammar check are insufficient.  For instance, in running the ABC check on this article, it was suggested that I change your to you’re, when I was correct in the first place—you cannot trust the computer with spellcheck and grammar check.  Written communication is important enough to invest time and money in either learning how to write well or hiring someone who writes well.
• Are you self-motivated? If not, then a job that requires autonomy is probably not for you.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  While some people hate micro-managers, and everybody claims to hate them, the truth is some people need them.  They want to be assured that they’re doing the right thing and they need somebody to give them their to-do list and make sure it’s done.  If you are self-motivated, then stay away from micro-managers, because they’ll drive you crazy.  There’s nothing wrong with either, it’s just important to know what works for you.
• Are you ethical? Ah, we’re getting ugly now.  You need to decide whether or not you’ll play by the rules before a situation arises.  If you know where you stand, and I’m not judging on which side of the line you belong, then you’ll know how to negotiate and save yourself time and energy.
• And finally, how do you come across to others? Perception can be reality.  For instance, if you think you’re confident, but others find you arrogant, then you need to change your communication techniques.  Confidence is a good thing, but if it’s coming across wrong, and costing you clients or jobs, then a change is in order.

The point is, the better you know yourself, the more successful you can be by playing into your strengths and minimizing your weaknesses.

Lindy is a Business Consultant and Speaker to individuals of all levels and for companies, churches, and organizations of all sizes.  In addition, she is an author and columnist.  Contact her at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com to speak to your corporation or organization.

Don’t Be That Person

August 15, 2018

By Lindy Earl

Some people are just naturally likable.  I’m not always sure why. Sometimes it’s physical—people who are tall, or people who are incredibly attractive, just attract others like a magnet. Sometimes it’s personality – they are just friendly, outgoing, and they make you want to be around them.

Others, however, aren’t immediately likable.  I’ve studied this as well.  These people, and I have been and can be one of them, are unlikable, or just less likely to be liked, for some obvious reasons.  Well, obvious to others.

In a group of people, isn’t there someone who, too often, has to make the punny joke?  It’s obvious to everyone. Everyone, except that one, knows to not say it, but the one person has to make the comment.  Don’t be that person.

We all have bad days.  They happen.  This is life and life isn’t always great.  Some people accept them and move on. Some people wait until they’re home and share to a listening and interested partner or cry in the shower or punch a pillow.  Other people find it necessary to share their horror story with everyone they see, even if they are meeting you for the first time.  Don’t be that person.

Some people radiate an inner confidence.  It makes them attractive.  Other simply don’t.  They are just as good!  They are often educated and intelligent.  But rather than let their abilities naturally come through, they find it necessary to point out how wonderful they are.  Don’t be that person.

I like a good story!  It’s fun to share one and it’s fun to hear one.  Some people will listen to your story and enjoy it for the entertainment you offered.  Some people, however, need to top your story.  No matter what you said, they have a bigger and better story where, of course, they are the hero/ine.  Don’t be that person.

These people are often, but not always, the people who have to have the limelight.  Even as they ask how your day was, especially if it was a big day for you, like your first day of a promotion or an important celebration, they let you speak for a minute, then make the conversation about them.  Imagine it’s your anniversary – any anniversary, work, children, relationship – and even as they asked you if you had a good day and asked how you celebrated it, their next breath is telling you about their last, or their very best, anniversary.  Don’t be that person.

I’m not saying these people are innately bad.  They aren’t!  In fact, they are often very nice people.  They mean well!  They probably don’t even realize that they overshare.  They definitely don’t realize that when we see them coming, in real life or on social media with their latest post (for the seventh time that day), that we sigh and wonder, “what now?”  If they did know that they overpost, or overexplain, or make too many excuses, surely they would stop, wouldn’t they?

A teacher once told her class, “If one person doesn’t like you then it’s on them.  If several people dislike you, you need to look at yourself.”

I’m not sure if that fits here, but it remains a fair statement.

If you’re naturally likable, then enjoy it and keep doing what you’re doing.  If you want to be more likable and have more friends, then ask yourself if any of the points discussed could pertain to you.  As I said, I’ve been guilty of all of these things.

I now focus on making conversations about other people.  If they want to know more about me and my day then they’ll ask – and I’ll answer because I believe they are sincere in wanting to learn more.

Always venting to people, or verbally throwing up on people is what I sometimes say, is just not good.  Don’t be that person.

Lindy is a Business Consultant and Speaker for companies, church, and organizations of all sizes and individuals of all levels.  In addition, she is an author and columnist.  Contact her at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com to speak to your corporation or organization.

Live a Quality Life

August 8, 2018

By Lindy Earl

It’s the quality, often pronounced QUAAAAAA-lity, not the quantity, that matters.  I want quality time with you.  It’s worth paying for quality.

We’ve all heard about the importance of quality, but has anyone defined it?  We could borrow from Supreme Court Justice Stone, when he was asked to define pornography:  “I don’t know how to define it, but I damn well know it when I see it.”

Is the same true with quality?  Does quality change with people or with circumstances?  It makes sense to me that what I considered quality when I was 25 I would not consider quality today.

Sometimes, quality is a matter of effort.  I like to give gifts, but I’ve learned that the appearance is almost as important as what’s inside the package.  Now, a useless or misguided gift, no matter how prettily wrapped, is not as good as the perfect gift without wrapping.  We both know that.

Still, taking a few minutes to drop an item into a gift bag simply means more.  For one, it piques interest as soon as it’s seen.  Second, there is something fun about unwrapping a gift.  For me, bows make the difference.  I have a drawer full of bows, so even if I don’t wrap a gift, I’ll often tie a bow around the item.  This adds a quality of life to the simple joy of giving somebody a small gift. It can turn a task (remember to give the item when you see the person) into an event (here, I was thinking of you. Please open this.).

Quality can be seen in taking a few minutes to add details.  My daughter had an amazing Kindergarten teacher.  My cherub would return from school with much better pictures than she had ever drawn in our play room.  Why?  Attention to detail.  Her teacher had a rule, “No white showing,” on the paper.  This encouraged children to take the time to fill the entire page – so they were adding clouds and stars and trees to pictures they drew.  What a difference!

When you’re getting dressed, taking time to add a sports coat or jewelry, even a simple watch, will set you apart.  The attention to detail shows a quality. If you’re taking time with your appearance, which has to be redone every day, you’re probably giving time and attention to your work and projects.  What a great non-verbal message to send!

A point that I think needs to be made is that quality is not always equal to cost.  Sometimes it is, thus the line, You get what you pay for.  I’m a huge proponent of saying that I can’t afford to buy cheap.

Still, when your child needs a blue t-shirt for class day, a $3 tee will work just fine.  Spend your clothing allowance on the outfit that will be worn repeatedly and needs to stand up to frequent abuse. Buy the $30 backpack for school so it will last several years, versus buying a $10 backpack that falls apart four times in one year.

You can choose the quality of life you want, then take steps to achieve it.  If you want a quality job, then invest in your education.  If you want a quality wardrobe, then buy fewer pieces of nicer quality clothes so your bottom line remains consistent. The same is true with finer dining – higher scale but less often.  Or, if you find your level of dining could be lowered and you would be equally happy, then make the change and either go out more often or pocket the difference.

Quality of life is a decision we make.  It may have once been put upon us, by our circumstances.  When I was 20 I was a poor college student and lived as such.  A trip to McDonald’s was a treat!  With experience and age, we learn so much about our own likes and priorities.  Take some time to think about where you would like to improve the quality of your life and make the changes.

Lindy is a Business Consultant and Speaker for companies of all sizes and individuals of all levels.  In addition, she is an author and columnist.  Contact her at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com to speak to your corporation or organization.

Going to Heaven

August 2018

​I realize this isn’t being published until August, but do you remember, at the end of June, when a couple in Florida was arrested for selling Gold tickets to heaven? They did. They sold for $99 and they told people the paper was gold. The couple said they received the certificates from aliens and heaven in a plane filled with drugs. This really happened.

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There is a lot of misinformation in this world on what heaven is and how to get there. The what it is, isn’t as important as the how to get there. Some religions teach that there is no heaven, so nothing you do on this earth matters in the long run, because there is no hereafter.

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Some sects teach that a certain number of people have been pre-selected for heaven. I’m not sure who these chosen people are, and whether or not they know who they are, but based on the sheer number of people who are alive now and have lived throughout history, a small percentage is allowed in, so chances are pretty durn slim that either of us are going to make it.

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There are churches that promise you a way in. If you are wearing the appropriate accessory, you will be sent to heaven within a short time, if you missed it upon dying. Where they believe you go while you’re waiting has never been made clear to me, but in case you miss, a second chance is waiting, as long as you died wearing the right thing.

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There are churches that allow you, or your loved ones after you pass, to buy your way in. It’s not always that blunt, but basically, you can pay to have services said and these will ease your way into heaven if, again, you missed it.

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Several churches teach that it’s what you do that determines your entrance into heaven. You have to be a good person, always being on your best behavior – check all the boxes and you’re allowed admittance. Sadly, you’re not told until you’re dead whether or not you checked all the right boxes, or maybe enough boxes. Now, people are happy to surmise about who will make it or who might already be there.

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Then there are the churches that tell you what you can’t do if you want to go to heaven: no sinning, which usually means no cussing or drinking, sometimes even no dancing or card or dice games. If you don’t do any of the things considered bad and sinful on their list, you’re good to go.

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The Biblical truth is that it’s not what you do that gets you into heaven. Yes, there are murderers in the Bible. Of course there are sinners there because “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Only one man born in the history of the world was without sin. And it’s not what you don’t do that gets you in, either. You can live a pious life, hurting no one, never eating or drinking any questionable thing, and that won’t open the pearly gates for you.

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It’s not what you do, or what you won’t do, that gets you into heaven, it’s WHAT WAS DONE FOR YOU, and BY WHOM. There is something you have to do, but you need to understand the last line. What was done for you, and by Whom?

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God cannot be around sinners. He’s too great and too good and He just can’t be, so there is a canyon between us and the Lord. You can make it a moat or a river or a valley or anything your imagination allows. The point is, you can’t get to heaven on your own.

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Thankfully, happily, joyfully, Jesus came to earth and became the bridge between earth and heaven. Because the Father can’t be near sin, Jesus takes your sin off you, upon death, so you can go to heaven. It’s Jesus Who is the reason you can go to heaven – nothing you do, but something He did. Jesus died, and descended into hell for three days, so that you can live eternally in heaven. WOW!

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Jesus even knew what was coming, and did it anyway. Now, He sweat blood (Luke 22:44) just thinking about it! But He went through with it and died a human, painful death on that cross. He cried to His Father and His Father was silent. That had to be as difficult for the Lord as for Jesus. Can you ignore your children when they cry out to you? Then Jesus was three days in hell. Upon rising from the dead, Jesus gave us the gift of being able to go to heaven.

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There is one thing we have to do to go to heaven. We need to accept the gift. If someone leaves a gift on your doorstep, maybe for your birthday or as a welcome gift, and you leave it there, it remains unopened and unaccepted. Therefore, you’ve never received the gift, even though it was there for you. You need to open it and accept it. Yes, we have heard stories of honest little children who open gifts and say, “That’s ugly. I don’t want it.” Oh, to be so honest! When you accept the gift of salvation from Jesus Christ, you will recognize how perfect it is.

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Yes, we need to accept the truth of Jesus’ dying on the cross for us. That’s the one and only way into heaven (John 14:6). It’s not what you do. It’s not what you don’t do. It’s what was done for you.

Don’t Lose Your Focus

August 1, 2018

By Lindy Earl

I’m a sports fan.  We have so much to learn from every sport, every game, and every play.  I was recently watching a baseball game and saw the short stop bobble the ball.  There was a player on second running past him, and it was enough to make the short stop lose his focus, bobble the ball, consider throwing to third, before finally throwing to first but missing the out.  I use the word finally, but the entire play took a few seconds, but it felt like forever from the stands.  I can’t imagine how it felt from the infield!

We were deep into the game, 9^th inning with a tied score.  There were two ways it could go.  The missed out with two men on base put the opposing team in a scoring position.  That error could have allowed the runners to score and the home team to ultimately lose the game.  Or, the game could continue with no lasting result from the error.

In life, you can’t know what will happen, so you need to stay focused.  Maybe you can make an error and your team will still win . . . but what if your organization loses, and the error can be traced back to you? What if it can’t? Would you step up and admit your mistake?

How do we stay focused? First, try doing only one thing as a time.  Stop this multitasking stuff.  Focus on one thing, especially when it’s a conversation.  Do not check your phone or review an email when someone is in front of you.  Everything can wait.  We all waited a decade or two ago, and nobody died!  In fact, we probably led a more simple, happier life.

Second, know what you do well.  If you’re asked to perform a task beyond your comfort zone, determine if this is the best time for you to spread your wings.  If it’s pretty important, you may want to defer to someone with more experience but request them to mentor you.  Not only will you learn a lot but they should appreciate you.

Third, you focus by being good at what you do.  In many cases that takes practice.  I’m not just talking about sports teams.  I have yet to arrive at a presentation where I have failed to rehearse.  No matter how many times I have given a seminar (and several of my communication seminars have been requested repeatedly) I always practice several times.  I do not discriminate on the importance of the company or the attendees.  When people are taking their time to see me, I’m going to give them my best.  I can’t do that if I haven’t rehearsed and am therefore unfocused.

Last, make a decision every day, in some cases every inning, to stay focused.  Do not allow your mind to wander.  Make a conscious decision to be in the moment . . . over and over until it’s a habit.  Habits come from repeated action, so ensure you are repeating good actions.  Focus is a respect-worthy action.

As for the game . . .   The next batter up hit short and a double play was made.  End of the inning.  The error did not cost the team any runs.  In fact, the home team went on to win in extra innings.

While the results in this case were good, the team was not unaffected.  The first and second basemen needed to work together to get a double play that would have been an easy out if not for the previous error.  Why? Because one player lost his focus.

In fact, it was something far beyond the short stop’s control that made his error not overly important.  You can’t be sure of that in real life.

Better to not err and stay focused.

Lindy is a Business Consultant and Speaker for companies of all sizes and individuals of all levels.  In addition, she is an author and columnist.  Contact her at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com to speak to your corporation or organization.