The ABCs of a Tragedy

July 2018

Ah, the 4^th of July is coming.  A time to barbecue and see friends and watch Baseball and celebrate our nation’s independence.  But what was success for our country was a defeat, and a tragedy, for England. They lost their colonies, and they lost a portion of their income.  No longer were we paying taxes to the crown.

Have you contemplated that, often, in order for one to win, another must lose?  You want that promotion so badly, but if you get it, several others will not.  You win, they lose.  You want your team to make it to the Final Four or World Series or Super Bowl, but for the two teams that survive until the end, many were defeated along the way.  One person’s, or team’s, success is another’s tragedy.

Tragedy affects everyone.  Only a young child does not know some type of tragedy.  It could be the death of a loved one.  That’s a tragedy.  It may be something we caused ourselves, like flunking out of school due to non-participation.  That’s a tragedy!  It could be something where we did everything right, but still lost, such as the job that went to the Manager’s nephew when you were the better candidate.  Tragedy.

Throughout our lives, tragedies can take many forms and many degrees.  It could be a national tragedy, such as Military issues anywhere around the world or in our own country (911). It could be a personal tragedy, such as a divorce.  It could be financial, such as a job loss.  It could be a family tragedy, such as SIDS.

The degree could be severe – 3,000 lives lost in one morning on September 11^th.  It could affect many people or just a few.  It may be minor in terms of global tragedies, but it still hit you hard.  Two children can be affected very differently by a family loss.

Some people respond to tragedies with anger. Others are able to shrug their shoulders and move on.  Some people have to lay the blame at someone’s feet but never their own, but they need to blame someone.  What about you?  How do you react to tragedies?  Some people fall apart while others get stronger from the adversity.

I have three very basic steps, Christian steps, for you to try, ABC.

Attention –  When was the last time you had a good conversation with God?  I do not mean a prayer before a meal or a quick thank you.  In order to get past a tragedy, you want to have an intimate discussion with the Lord.  Give the Lord all your attention, and accept all of His.  Separate yourself from everyone, maybe in an empty room or car.  Remove distractions, starting with electronic devices, and include anything that will both you.  In my bedroom I have a stain on my carpet that has the most annoying habit of calling my attention.  If you are going to be distracted by anything or anyone, find another place.  And accept the Lord’s attention. You are that important to Him. Enjoy it.

Belief – You need to know, deep down in your heart, really recognize that God is in control.  If you’ve never done that, truly given your heart and your life over to the Lord, now is the time.  There’s also an ABC for salvation (Accept, Believe, Confess).  If you truly believe that the Lord is omniscient, then He already knew about your situation before it occurred.  Don’t worry about why it happened.  Accept it. Don’t ask the Lord why – it may not be in His plan to tell you. If He does, consider yourself extra blessed.  Truly believing that the Lord is in control of the situation allows you to relax.  It somehow makes dealing with the tragedy easier.  It also helps absolve you from unnecessary and undeserved guilt.

Commitment – Change your life.  Now is the time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.  It’s the time for new beginnings.  Learn from the tragedy. Examine your feelings and the situation. Use this information to more intelligently and more intentionally live your life, closer to the Lord, closer to the way you want to live, closer to the person you want to be.  So, ask yourself some tough questions:  What are you doing right in your life? What are you doing wrong? Are you truly making good decisions, or only easy ones?  If you haven’t been taking a quiet time, or prayer time, or Bible study, or whatever you want to call it, now is the time to schedule it into your life.  You get to choose when, but choose a time when you can truly commit to it, every day.

Are there people in your life who don’t belong there (maybe people who encourage you to do things you’d rather not), or maybe there are not people who do belong (accountability partners maybe)? Who should you be listening to, not based on their willingness to agree with you, but based on their good decisions and Godly behavior?

What actions – exercise and diet, prayer time, discipline at work or school, do you need to implement and stick with?  Anyone can exercise once or diet for a day; anyone can be a non-complainer and good employee for a few hours.  I’m asking what actions do you need to set in motion that you will commit to doing on a regular basis (daily or a few times a week)?  Not only will these actions get you through your current tragedy, but they will set the tone for a better, happier life, and help prepare you for future challenges.

Tragedies come into everyone’s life.  We dislike them, but it’s better to deal with them than to ignore them.  It’s even better if we use the opportunity to grow from them.

What Are You Doing Wrong?

June 27, 2018

By Lindy Earl

Wow, what an uninspiring title for a Business blog. Don’t leaders tell us to find what we do well, and do more of it?  Didn’t Steve Jobs tell us to hire smart people and listen to what they have to say?

Why, then, are we looking at what we don’t do well? Maybe some mistakes we have not only made, but based on the present tense of the sentence, are continuing to make?

We have also heard Edison’s quote that he did not fail 700 times to create a lightbulb (ignoring the fact that the lightbulb had existed for 50 years and Edison was trying to find a filament to make the bulb functional, not create it), but that he succeeded 700 times in learning what did not work.  Yes, success comes from failure.

So, on a very small scale, and this is just about you, what are you doing wrong?  It could be something as simple as putting on your socks wrong.  Now, it doesn’t really matter if you wear your socks inside out or not, but if you do, you should know the right way.  I wear mismatched earrings every day.  I have for years.  Some people consider this wrong.  My response, when asked, is that “I am disinclined to resign to conformity” borrowed and altered from the Psych theme song.

What I’m asking is, what are you doing wrong that could be corrected, thus make you a more successful person?  Maybe you’re chronically late.  Even if you’re the boss, so can claim the meeting starts when you get there (durn it), it’s still rude and inconsiderate, thus wrong.  What can you do, starting now, to always be on time?  Will setting your clocks ahead help you?  I tried that as a child, although I didn’t have a tardiness problem, but it was just my effort to trick my brain that I was getting extra sleep. It wasn’t a good idea.  Do you need an accountability partner to force you on your way?  Maybe you simply need to gain competence in how long it takes to do things.

I had a friend, years ago, who was always late.  Always. Her excuse was that she was on island time, even though we lived in Ohio.  If you need an excuse for anything, you’re doing something wrong.  In her case, she thought she could get anywhere in five minutes.  My point, she couldn’t get her kids in the car in five minutes.  When I said this, I saw a light dawn in her eyes.  She had never allowed for anything but drive time, and even then she was often incorrect.  Once she realized she had to allow ten minutes to bundle her children into their coats and into the car, then drive, then get them out of the car and into a building, she realized why she was always late.  Until then, she had really believed she was leaving on time and there had to be some other reason, beyond her control, like traffic, that made her consistently late.

Maybe you can’t decide what to wear.  It’s not often an issue for me, but there have been times when I’ve dressed then changed my outfit completely, costing me time that is very dear in the morning.  A simple solution is to set your clothes out the night before.  That handles the morning rush, but it didn’t address the problem.  You may still spend far too much time in the decision process, you’ve simply moved the time involved to the night before.  Maybe that’s a sufficient fix.

I have known several guys (yes, all men, I’m not being sexist here), who solved this problem by basically buying and wearing the same clothes all the time.  In one case it was khaki pants and a blue shirt.  He had ten of each.  In another case it was jeans and a black shirt.  He threw them all in a drawer and grabbed one, never wondering if he had worn something similar too recently.

In my case, I solved this by rotating my clothes, even though I never really considered it a problem.  This idea, however, has saved me hours of time over the years and more than a few moments of anxiety.  If it’s a shorts day (today), I simply grabbed the next pair of shorts in my drawer, checked to be sure the next t-shirt in line coordinated, and I was ready to shower.  Easy.  The same works with my jeans, suits, and dresses.  It’s a system that solves what could be a time-wasting, irritating challenge:  what to wear?!

Your issues could be over food. They could be transportation – if you have a car that you’re not sure will get you to work, then admit you are doing transportation wrong and find a cure. It may take months or years to fully implement, but you’re on your way (no pun intended).

Your issues could be a more complex, like communication.  Is what you’re saying, and what the other person is hearing, not always the same?  Is information getting lost somewhere along the line?  Admit you’re doing something wrong and correct it.

Whatever you’re doing wrong, when you go to fix it, be sure you are aiming at the ends, and not the means.  If you want to lose weight, for instance, and you see chocolate (in my case) as the culprit, that’s the ends.  The truth is, taking in more calories than I expend is the problem.  So if you deprive yourself of chocolate, but substitute another food, anything from gummy bears to chips, you are not facing the challenge – too many calories.  And think out of the box – rather than deleting a loved food (yes, I love chocolate), maybe increase your caloric count by increasing exercise.  You can run after your cake and eat it too.

Even if you’re doing everything well, first, congratulations! Second, you might want to look again.  Even if you’re doing everything well, it doesn’t mean some things couldn’t be done better.  It’s also possible that while you believe that you’re doing everything well, others may disagree and have some very legitimate and helpful ideas.

The first place to look, to see what you’re doing wrong, is with the areas of your life where you are less happy or stressed.  If there aren’t any, then just keep your eyes open.  Is there someone at work who is always on top of things? Someone who always looks pulled together?  Somebody who seems to be ahead of the game?  Talk to them. Learn their secrets and implement what applies to you.  Some people have it all together because their children are grown and gone – that may not be something you can implement for another decade or so. You can get online and google Life Hacks.  Just learn what you can and apply what works.  It may take more than a few efforts, but in a short time, you’ll be more efficient and effective in whatever you try to do.

Lindy is a Business Consultant and Speaker for companies of all sizes and individuals of all levels.  In addition, she is an author and columnist.  Contact her at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com.

The Worst Things About Work

June 20, 2018

Everyone has something about their job that they dislike.  Even if you have the perfect job, there is something you dislike.  Even if you have the best boss – maybe you work for yourself so have an absolutely brilliant boss – there are still some things you just dislike about your job.

For some it’s just having to get up in the morning.  If that’s the reason, then your issue is really not with your job.  It’s with your dislike of mornings.  So, please stop blaming your job because you’re not a morning person.

For some people it’s the commute – it may be long due to distance or traffic.  Again, that’s not the fault of your employer.  I realize that everyone can’t live close to work.  Some people intentionally move close to the office then change jobs.  Oh well.  Traffic is going to exist, and accidents will continue to happen.  You should certainly speak to the powers that be about changing your hours or working from home.  There are multiple options if you’re unhappy with your commute.

Some people have a challenge with their office environment.  It could be the corporate culture or some of the people at the office. Admit it!  You just don’t get along with everyone you meet, or work with.  If this is the case, you need to find a way of accepting, if not enjoying, your work environment.

What if it’s the actual work you dislike?  You thought you were being hired for one job, yet somehow tasks were added or taken away.  Dang.  That doesn’t seem right, yet there it is.

Maybe there’s nothing specific, but just a general dislike of working – you’re too smart for this role, you should have been promoted by now.

So, what do you get in exchange for these really irritating, absolutely horrible . . . wait.  When you look at these, doesn’t it seem that, when you look at them, they can all be dealt with?

Let’s get back to the last point, what do you get in exchange for the worst thing about work?  First, you get a paycheck.  Even if it’s not as much as you like, it’s more than you would have sleeping in and staying home.  In truth, you can’t live without a paycheck, so let’s have some gratitude for employment.

Second, you get to use your time, talents, abilities, physical labor, effort and energy, for something that matters.  You are a productive part of a productive system.  That should feel pretty durn good.  If you weren’t there, somebody else would have to be hired and trained to replace you.  You’re pretty important.  So maybe let’s find some pride in our productivity.

Third, you have a place to go multiple days a week.  I realize not everyone is working a full time job, but however many days you do work, it adds some good structure to your week.  Structure is a good thing.

Question:  do you have friends at work?  I’m guessing, unless you work alone, that there are people at work who you like and like you.  So, maybe some socialization is added to what we get from work.

Even if you don’t really like your work, I’m guessing you feel some accomplishment, at least on occasion.  It just feels good to get things done.  At the end of the day, you can count your day well spent, if you’re giving an honest effort.  Another good thing.

So, when we ask what’s the worst think about work, I believe the answer is, nothing, really.  You can enjoy your pay, pride in productivity, your importance, structure, socialization, and accomplishments.  It must be great to wake every day with all this waiting for you.  Enjoy your work.  Enjoy your life.

Lindy is a Business Consultant and Speaker for companies of all sizes and individuals of all levels.  In addition, she is an author and columnist.  Contact her at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com.

Come Prepared

June 13, 2018

Do you remember those days in school when your teacher would admonish the class to come prepared?  No matter how many times it was said, some student, often the same one, just never seemed to have the pen or pencil they needed.  I spoke to a teacher recently and she mentioned that after 30 years of teaching, students not having a writing utensil remains a problem.

In the real world, we still see people grasping for a pen.  I carry extra pens and am more than willing to give them away when I find someone without a pen.  I go through a lot of pens.  It’s such a simple concept, so why is it so hard?  You wouldn’t walk out without your keys or ID, but a pen in your pocket or briefcase seems to be a challenge.

We often go into the world unprepared in other ways.  You start a new job, and no matter how much you researched and how much you learned, you are probably unprepared.  There are going to be tasks that were never mentioned.  There are going to be people who are simply difficult and you may never know why.  In one case for me, a long time ago, I had a challenge with a guy in Finance, when I was VP of Marketing.  It took a few months for someone to confide in me that he had applied, and was rejected, for my job.  I was unprepared to deal with it.  It made perfect sense that the company had performed an in-house search for a new VP.  In retrospect, I should have asked who had applied so I would have been prepared.

We go into projects unprepared, often without knowledge or information we didn’t know we needed.  Every homeowner can probably relate.  What seems like a simple fix uncovers problems that were before invisible.  In an effort to prepare myself, I tend to overbudget time and money for projects, both at home and work.  When my kitchen was remodeled with a timeline of six weeks, I wasn’t surprised that it took more than nine.  At work, when IT tells me they will look at my problem within 48 hours and it will take a day to fix, I budget a week.  The good news is that sometimes I am happily surprised.  Other times I feel good about myself for knowing to pad the budget.

Is it possible to prepare for everything in life?  Absolutely not.  If you could prepare for the car accident, yours or someone else’s, then you would have avoided being in it or being stuck in traffic due to it.

There are, however, two very specific things you can do. One, prepare to the best of your ability.  Take paper and pen, or an i-pad or something, to meetings.  Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.  Yes, it means carrying stuff you may never need, but when you do need it, and are the only one in the room prepared, you will be happy and others will be appreciative, maybe even impressed.  Always over prepare.  Dress above the expected level.  Learn more than you think you need.  You got this.

The second thing to do is always keep a good attitude handy.  Since you won’t always be prepared, therefore things will happen to you, be ready to smile through it, shake it off, make a joke – whatever it takes to not let it get to you.

We all have friends (it may be ourselves) who get way overwrought over complications. I have reacted poorly too many times.  In the past five years, I have been reminded that it all works out.  It may not be what you expected, and it may not be what you want, but it will all work.  Keeping a good attitude will help others as well as yourself.  As you remain calm and composed, others will follow your lead.  You will also think more rationally if you maintain your composure.

We can do our best to face daily life as prepared as possible.  The more you prep, the better you will be at it.  You may learn shortcuts, like keeping an umbrella in your car in case the weathermen are wrong again.  Maybe you should plan on weather forecasters being wrong.  So preparation definitely helps.  The best thing you can prepare is your mind and attitude.  You will benefit even more from that than from having a pen in your pocket.

Lindy is a Business Consultant and Speaker for companies of all sizes and individuals of all levels.  In addition, she is an author and columnist.  Contact her at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com.

What Do You Offer?

June 6, 2018

Whether you are entering a new job or a new relationship, it’s a fair question to ask, what do you offer?  If you’ve been around a while, you probably have a lengthy list to enumerate.  You offer education and experience, right?  Your resume spells it all out in chronological detail.  Your awards and triumphs are highlighted.  You have a lot to offer. Even new relationships, when you start online, offer a profile, sharing all the things you offer – a love of dogs, great conversationalist, sports fan.

So, with all this information readily available, and all the expertise you offer, and all the jobs waiting for someone, and all the people seeking relationships, and all the managers looking for their next hire, and people looking for new friends, why is it so hard to match the people and their abilities to the people with their needs?

One reason, I believe, is that people look in the wrong places.  A long time ago, my first job out of College was in the HR Department of a law firm. Because some of the partners in the firm had graduated from a certain college they insisted that HR recruit from their alma mater.  We were happy to do so, but it quickly became evident that the quality of graduate was no longer a match for our firm, in that in over five years there hadn’t been a single hire from said institution.  I also saw candidates rejected because of their school and some partner’s bias.  That’s just wrong.

Another reason I’ve seen, and this is personal, is that people who have been out of the work force for any reason have a very difficult time getting back in.  Their absence could have been, and I have seen all of these, due to taking care of a family member, parenting, out of the country, an illness, or entrepreneurship.  None of these factors render a person incompetent.  Yet, we’ve all seen these people overlooked in job searches, when a simple open mind would find a plethora of hard-working and eager employees.

Thanks to computers, we now have programs that identify candidates based on key words.  This is one place where I contend that no computer can improve over the work of a real person.

Another reason that someone is overlooked even though they offer everything that is wanted is that the people hiring may focus on the wrong thing.  Maybe the last person was a math whiz, even though that wasn’t relevant to the job.  So the search includes a job specification for math experience, when this really isn’t what is needed.  I’ve also seen a college degree required for a position when truly no college education is needed to perform the job.  It may help with a promotion, but maybe that’s why the job is always open.  People come along with the degree, take the job, and immediately look for a promotion, whether or not it’s within the company.  Attrition is expensive! This could be avoided by simply accurately writing the job description then matching it the qualified candidate.

People focus on what they like, versus what the needs are.  I dislike having to admit this, but I’ve seen people hire by gender and age.  Thus, I’ve seen people overlooked, even though they did offer the best qualifications for the job.

One reason people are overlooked is that what they offer is not clearly seen.  Maybe they are shy, or just don’t interview well.  If you have the ability to perform the job well, what can you do to shine, first to get the interview, then to get the job?  It’s possible that there’s nothing you can do.  A friend recommended me for a job last year, and said, if the CEO will just meet you, you’ll be in.  There was nothing we could do to make that happen.  The CEO didn’t like me on paper and it was over, despite multiple efforts.

One last point: what is truly requested is often left unspoken.  While the job requirements are clearly stated, what is left unsaid is an ability to adapt quickly to the company culture and get along with all your coworkers.  Fitting in matters.

The truth is, you have a lot to offer.  How you present it is important.  You can rewrite your resume, but there are only so many ways to say that you’re fabulous with great experience.  Maybe you need to find a new way to stand out.  I believe that hand-written envelopes and letters tend to be opened, when emails are often deleted.  Word of mouth advertising continues to be successful, so learn who you know who can get you in front of the right people. Find people who will tell you what you offer, and find a new way to state it.

There are opportunities out there for everyone. The key is matching your abilities with the skills needed.  Just because you’re the best person for the job does not mean you will be hired.  Step one, know what you offer.  Step two, find what makes you unique in your offerings.  Step three, find a way to stand out in your approach. Step four, enjoy yourself as you’re sought after. Step five, work hard in your new role.

Lindy is a Business Consultant and Speaker for companies of all sizes and individuals of all levels.  In addition, she is an author and columnist.  Contact her at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com.