Is It Really Worth the Laugh?

March 27, 2018

I recently heard a speaker reminisce about College days and an old friend he called Lynn.  He said Lynn was wonderful but gullible.  He and his friends, therefore, liked to prank this girl.  One time, at the end of the semester, Lynn was preparing to drive home like many College students.  They asked if she had filled up the car with gas? Yes.  Checked the oil?  Yes.  Replaced the air in her tires.  What?

So this poor girl excuses herself to go to the closest gas station where she requested they replace the air in her tires, because in all the time she had owned her car she had never done this.  Yes, she was humiliated.

It’s 20 years later, and this gentleman continues to laugh at Lynn.  In fact, he’s telling the story on her and getting people who have never met her to laugh.  I thought it painted the speaker in a very poor light.

Now, he was young and immature when he pulled this prank.  But, what does it say about him today, that he continues to laugh at an innocent and gullible person?

I see Lynn as trusting and obedient.  I would probably have liked her in College and I would probably like her today.  In fact, I would rather be the gullible and trusting person in this story that the mean boys who teased and laughed at her.

Is it really worth the laugh?  If this had been done to me, I would have lost trust in these so-called friends.  They were, in a way, boys who cried wolf.  What if they later had accurate and useful information for me?  Could I trust them?  No!  They let the woman leave the room and go all the way to a gas station and never told her the truth.  Is it worth your reputation and trustworthiness for a joke?

In addition, if Lynn wasn’t such a great sport, you could lose friends over tricks like this.  Is it worth it?  In fact, I think you could lose a job over games like this.  Is it worth it?

Some people may think, “Oh, you’re being too sensitive.”  There is no such thing.  Being too sensitive is like having too much fun. It can’t happen.  No matter how sensitive you are, it’s a good thing – it shows care and compassion.  How can those ever be negative?  Calling people too sensitive is a way of deflecting the well-deserved onus from yourself.  You were wrong and have been rightfully called on it – do not try to get out of it by claiming others are in the wrong by being too sensitive.  The world would be a horrible place if people weren’t sensitive.

Now, I have been a practical joker, and I got as well as I gave. Yes, I buttoned all my roommates shirt sleeves together so when she grabbed one, she brought every one in her closet with her.  I also found myself covered in baby powder for it.  Yes, my roommate may have found peanut butter in her toothpaste tube, but I found my toothbrush bristles glued together.  Harmless fun is a great thing.  You can’t have too much fun!

Taking advantage of gullible people just isn’t the same thing. While I am not the person in question here, my rancor is more about bragging on the prank twenty years later.  I’m guessing Lynn is less gullible today, but our speaker seems to be just as immature as he was in College.

Again, I would not want to trade my trust in others.  I tend to be very obedient and I think that’s a good thing.  If I have to stop trusting someone, and I can’t respond to a simple request or suggestion, is there really a relationship there?

So, before you take advantage of others’ innocence, or retell a story where you think you come out great at the expense of others, please ask yourself – is it really worth the laugh?  Maybe it’s time to look forward to more creative uses of your sense of humor.  I’m not preaching here, just asking a question.

Lindy is a Speaker, Consultant, Author, and Columnist currently living in Atlanta, GA, and available to answer your questions anywhere in the world. Lindy offers multiple seminars to make your employees the best they can be. Learn more at www.LindySpeaks.com or www.EarlMarketing.com.

Take Responsibility

March 20, 2018

There is a lot of talk about millennials and their many shortcomings . . . they are lazy, they want to succeed without working, they feel entitled.  You’ve heard it all, too.  What I heard, years ago, was the same thing about previous generations.

Being a young girl in the 1960’s (don’t make that face) from a large family (I’m one of six children with twenty Aunts and Uncles), I recall listening to conversations the adults had about, then, hippies.  It was actually my great-aunts who made the point that things were no different in the 1960’s than they had been in the 1930’s and 1940’s.  In fact, they were just called by different names.  Semantics.  I believe those great-aunts were correct and the situation persists today.

So the point is to stop pointing fingers.  Instead, discern what you can do to step up and help others.  You can help the millennials, or Gen X, or any of hundreds of people.  Isn’t an ounce of prevention worth a pound of cure?  Then start preventing trouble, and stop expounding on the stereotypes, and whatever your age and generation, step up.

We should all take responsibility.  How?  First, know and accept that you are responsible for yourself.  For your own life.  For your own happiness.  For what words issue from your mouth.  For taking captive negative thoughts without uttering them.  For how you treat others.  For your time and financial management, including working for a living and living within your means, not within the limits of your credit cards.

You are at the center of your life and have a responsibility to live it carefully and well.  As a tiny pebble makes larger and larger ripples in a pond, so does your behavior ripple out, away from you, and affect others, some of whom you will never know.  You have seen this happen.  A person wakes up late for work, rushing to work chooses to speed or drive erratically, and an accident ensues. Or, a person chooses to go to bed early, thus wakes before the alarm, enjoys a nutritious breakfast so feels great, leaves with plenty of time, arrives at work on time and in a good mood, and casts happiness on those with whom they come into contact.  Those people then find themselves in a good mood and the ripples continue.  It made be a bit glamorized here, but you know, and have lived, the story.

Know and accept that every decision you make has consequences, some immediate, some that may not affect you for years.  What classes did you take, or not take, in school that you regret?  What are the short and long-term effects of smoking or drinking or praying?

Second, you have a responsibility to think about others.  You are not responsible for their feelings, but you are responsible to do your best to not hurt others’ feelings.  You have a responsibility to treat others well – with kindness and respect.  Even if others don’t do the same, the golden rule applies, to treat others the way you Want to be treated, not necessarily the way you were treated.

Responsible to others means to be on time, in both personal and professional relationships.  It means you owe your employer an honest day’s labor every hour you work.  I’m sorry if you went to work ill, you still need to perform at your maximum potential, and probably rethink your decision to infect others with your germs. Responsible to others means if you choose to volunteer, you first choose to not allow yourself to be strong-armed into doing something you do not want to do.  You have a responsibility to use the word No sometimes.  For those opportunities to which you respond affirmatively, you have a responsibility to show up with a willing spirit.

You have a responsibility to others to bring a great attitude.  Again, I’m sorry if you didn’t get sufficient sleep last night or you just received bad news.  Today is my writing day and I heard of two deaths.  Did I take a minute?  Yes!  Did I take the day?  No.  Did I inflict my sorrow on everyone around me and make it clear that I’m upset and going through a rough time?  I hope not.  Now, I’m not completely unfeeling and when it is someone close, of course you have a responsibility to your family to be there for them and yes, you can take the day and longer.  You understand the point I’m making.  When Princess Di passed, I did not take the day off, nor would she have taken a day if I had passed – we just weren’t close. You have a responsibility to make intelligent decisions.

Third, you have a responsibility to consider your future self.  If you chose to goof off in your early years, and didn’t take care of yourself physically or financially, it remains your responsibility to take care of yourself in the future.  Do not look to the government or your children.  You have a responsibility to put aside sufficient resources to take care of yourself, based on how long and how well you expect to live.  If you err, you will leave somebody a lovely inheritance.

As we accept responsibility for who we were, who we have become, and who we will eventually be; as we accept responsibility for treating others with respect; as we look at the importance of being responsible for our thoughts, words, and actions, we will create a better present and future life for ourselves.  No more excuses.  No more wondering what happened.  Take control of your life by taking responsibility for it.

Lindy is a Speaker, Consultant, Author, and Columnist currently living in Atlanta, GA, and available to answer your questions anywhere in the world. Lindy offers multiple seminars to make people the best they can be. Learn more at www.LindySpeaks.com or www.EarlMarketing.com.

 

Quality is in the Details

March 13, 2018

It seems to be that everyone knows that staying in business is all about offering quality at a fair price.  The quality should extend from top management through manufacturing all the way to excellent customer service.  We have seen it with a plethora of products from mouse traps (head nod to the concept of Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door – no, it won’t) to technological products.  But you can’t just claim you have high quality, you need to own it, teach it, and prove it.

Every day there are stories of poor quality and even worse customer service, which leads to unhappy clients and promises of people to never return to a retail shop or restaurant or manufacturer based on poor quality of either the product or the service or both.  So I have to wonder, where is the disconnect?

It may be that the challenge lies in poor communication, either from management to employees, or from employees to clients.  While quality is stated in corporate literature, there is a disconnect when it comes to how to perform the quality. It may be that a lack of communication occurred from management to employees, or even from employees to customers.

You have probably met sales reps or cashiers who seemed to have too much power.  They may have taken that power without management even being aware that it happened.  When you return to a store with a defective product, and the cashier refuses to accept the return, there is probably poor communication, in the form of a Policies and Procedures Manual.  Seriously, do you think a major retailer would risk losing a customer by refusing a return because you missed by a day, or by refusing to acknowledge that the zipper was broken? Of course not.  But due to poor communication, from managers to supervisors to cashiers, that is exactly what happens. A little common sense would fix the situation, but communication too often fails to acknowledge common sense.

Sometimes the poor communication is at the point of purchase, whether it’s a B to B sale or Business to Consumer.  Too often I have seen emotions get the better of either or both parties, and things drastically decline.  Take a deep breath, think about what is on the line, and think about what needs to be communicated.  Remember, it’s not just what is said but how it is said; it’s not just what you say but what is heard; it’s not just about today’s situation but the importance of establishing and maintaining a good reputation.  Don’t just claim to offer great quality, prove it.

I believe training should never stop.  Just like physicians are expected to continue learning, and being tested, the same should be true in every industry, profession, and in our personal lives.  It has become a common experience, at least in the South, to be greeted when you walk into a store, everything from Moe’s to retailers in the mall.  It’s a lovely gesture.  Did the employees just naturally choose to be friendly?  No.  They were trained to say hello.  Sadly, there is just a lot of other training that is missing.

The other day I was at a business lunch and had a long walk down a narrow aisle.  Two male servers stood between my destination and myself, both coming in my direction.   The first pushed past me.  Okay.  Not a big deal.  The second stepped into a small space and waited for me to pass.  I stopped and and thanked him.  Now, whether he was trained by a different manager, or possibly by his mother, this man’s behavior was noteworthy.  I greatly appreciated the customer service exemplified by one server in a restaurant.  It reflected well on the establishment.  Shouldn’t we try to encourage this type of service from all of our employees?  How? Training is a good start, but I think modeling the behavior is even more important.  As managers treat supervisors well, and supervisors treat employees with respect, there is a natural progression for employees to do the same with guests.

A few examples come to mind, and you probably have several of your own.  One happened over 20 years ago and was completely accidental on my part.  Some friends were over when my then 18 month old daughter was in her high chair.  Bored with the conversation, I guess, she said, “Down please.”  Now, she did not wait for a pause in the conversation and did not preface her request with, “If you would be so kind to excuse me.”  She simply said, “Down please.”  My friends asked how I had taught my daughter to be so polite, because they told me their daughter of the same age would announce, “Get down.”  I thought about it, and truly, it was just how we spoke to others in our home.  We used our manners, and children naturally learned them.  I’m not saying it was always easy, but it made me laugh out loud when another child, at the age of three, wanted to partake in the conversation and stated, “Speaking of which . . . “ and was off.  Whose three year old speaks like that?  One who is spoken to like that.  Manners show a quality of life that should be present in every manufacturing plant, retail establishment, and office environment.

This bring us to a third opportunity to see that quality is in minor details, such as stepping out of the path of customers.  While it is great for a company to have a thorough Employee Handbook of Do’s and Don’ts and a Standard Operating Procedure book, poor execution will lead to poor quality.  Basically, rules without consequences cannot be enforced.  If you want a reputation for outstanding quality, you need to implement procedures, then enforce them.  If you cut corners in manufacturing, then it will show.  If, however, the first cut corner is followed by penalties up to and including dismissal, it will become known that quality is taken seriously.

Quality shows up in minor details all the time – from a double sewn seam to excellent customer service.  It manifests itself in a number of ways, but the important point is that you cannot just claim to have quality, you need to show it by communicating well with employees and customers, by offering training on a multitude of topics from time management to customer attention, to implementing policies that require your level of quality be executed on a continual basis.  When you achieve these, your quality will be evident.

Lindy is a Speaker, Consultant, Author, and Columnist currently living in Atlanta, GA, and available to answer your questions anywhere in the world. Lindy offers multiple seminars to make your employees the best they can be. Learn more at www.LindySpeaks.com or www.EarlMarketing.com.

Encourage Customer & Employee Loyalty, Part 2

March 6, 2018

In a previous article on encouraging loyalty with both customers and employees, I had three main points:  communicate openly, keep them in the know, and offer training. I would like to expound on these points with some very specific tasks to make your employee and customer satisfaction absolutely stellar.

In good communication, begin at the beginning with a greeting.  To do this, you need to know their names.  There is a world of difference between “Hello” and “Good morning, Mr. Smith.”  The first is an acknowledgement, the second shows you know them.

To keep your clients and employees in the know, you need to know about them.  Ask, write it down if necessary, and remember – do they have children? Grandchildren? What are their interests?  Who are their favorite teams?  Political affiliations?  From this you can, first, avoid any communication errors.  You can also use the information to share an article or website that they might find interesting.  Even if they don’t even follow a lead you offer, they will appreciate your kindness in thinking about them.  If you share a team affiliation, you have an entire season of camaraderie, every year.

Am I suggesting training customers as well as employees?  Yes!  This is often done with a simple invitation.  For example, once upon a time, after their six children all left home, my parents would treat themselves to breakfast after church on Sundays.  At one restaurant they had a delightful waitress who, as my parents were leaving, said, “Ask for my section next time.”  And they did!  Every time they went to that restaurant, which became a favorite of theirs, they were seated in Gloria’s station, and a relationship developed.  A waitress trained her customers to simply ask for her, thus securing she had a full section while others waited on the next guest.  Brilliant.

The same can be done with loyalty cards.  Loyalty cards are often seen at coffee houses and ice cream parlors, with a free treat after ten visits (punches).  This concept can be used in a plethora of ways!  Any type of cleaning service, from clothes to carpets to upholstery, can offer a loyalty deal.  Any retail establishment can set up a loyalty system.  Even manufacturers, on a business-to-business level, can create loyalty programs.  The programs do not all have to be the same, either.  It may be a free service, but it may be a discount off future visits, or a gift.  I laugh whenever I hear of a local bank offering a free cutting board for opening a new account, but it is a way of getting new clients into the door.  I’m guessing it works or they would find another way of attracting new business.

Returning briefly to communication, you can stay in front of your customers and employees in a myriad of ways – face to face, by email, e-blasts, or newsletters. The newsletter can be snail mail or electronic.  The choices are limited only by your imagination and budget, but the budget should be seen as an investment, not a cost.

Reiterating the last point of the part one of this topic, you need to implement necessary changes.  If you like what you just read, but don’t put anything into place, you cannot expect changes.  If, however, you call each employee and customer by name, and take an interest in them; if you encourage your employees and clients to stay loyal and communicate with them in a variety of ways, always keeping your name in front of them, you should see a difference in satisfaction as well as loyalty. Of course, great service is the greatest way to encourage loyalty.

Lindy is a Speaker, Consultant, and Business Author, currently living in Atlanta, GA, and available to answer your questions anywhere in the world. Focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture, you can be more successful with Lindy as your Consultant. Learn more at www.LindySpeaks.com or www.EarlMarketing.com.

Are You Learning From Your Experiences?

March 2018

Amazing things happen every day. We see miracles and kindness, thoughtfulness and compassion.  When we observe these things, are we taking time to first, appreciate them, and second, to learn from them?  Some people believe it’s the bad stuff in life that teaches us the best lessons, but I prefer to learn from good experiences.

For instance, last Autumn I was invited to be on a Panel.  This organization has invited me before and I knew they would have supper for everyone.  When I arrived I made my way to the buffet line and sat with some gentlemen at an open table.  I queried if they were on the panel.  One of them, for reasons I cannot fathom, started spouting (that’s all I can think to call it) and, I believe, thinking he was funny . . . “We could be on the panel.  Joe, what do you think about being on the panel? We’re already here.  What do you think?” and he went on and on.  The other gent, Joe in my rendition, looked at me and quietly said that no, he was not.  The first speaker was not yet done.  He kept up his prattle and ended with, “Why? Do YOU want to be on the panel?”

I stated that I had been invited to be on the panel and it’s why I was there.  Then I took my plate and moved to another table.  I just didn’t see the point in subjecting myself to this.  It’s the next part of the story that I find amazing.

After about ten minutes the gentleman found me, and apologized.  I instantly forgave him.  Forgiveness really is that simple and, as a Christian, I cannot refuse to forgive anyone after what Jesus did for me.  The challenge was that he kept talking, until he said, “I was only kidding.”

I don’t know what got into me, but I looked the man in the eye and, after sending up a quick prayer, said, “No, you were being rude.”  I really did.

His response, and this is really amazing to me, was, “You’re right.”  I was astonished. Then, this man who was exuding humility with every ounce of his being, said, “Thank you for telling me this. I needed to hear it.”  I don’t recall if I even responded.  I was in shock. Here I was standing up to a man and calling him rude, and he accepted it as though it had been scripted.  Wow!  What did I learn from that experience?  First, I received the encouragement to stand up and state truth where I see it.  Second, I won’t die if I do speak up.  Third, stated kindly, the truth is a good thing to share.

Second story, where I completely blew it but learned . . . I was at a networking meeting and feeling pretty good, thus a little sassy, because I had just helped two new people with some leads.  One of the regulars came in and was using language inappropriate in a professional setting.  I called him on it and he yelled at me.  It wasn’t nice.  I rose and left.  I called a friend who used to be in the group and she assured me I did the right thing.  Then she told me she realized the group was not the caliber she had wanted which is why she left.  I told her I was resigning.  The next day I received a letter firing me from the group.  Wow!  What did I learn?  First, I should have shared my feelings about vulgarity privately.  Second, the way I left was a bit too dramatic, even to my own mind.  I should have stayed and dealt with it later.  Third, some people don’t want to hear the truth.

Third story:  I volunteered with a non-profit one weekend.  I became friendly with others at the event. Upon ending, one of my new acquaintances complained because her husband had come to pick her up without telling her, and as he was trying to help clean up he was doing things wrong.  Quick prayer!  Then I said, “I’m standing here, alone, without a husband in my life, and you’re complaining that yours showed up to surprise you and help you, and you’re angry that he’s not doing things right?”  Her response:  “You’re right.  Thank you for saying that.” Again, wow!

So here are three recent experiences from my life, two positive and one negative.  Did I learn from them?  Definitely!

I learned that in today’s world it’s important to consider the person on the receiving end and that we can still throw pearls before swine.  I learned it’s how I say things as much as what I say, but sometimes it’s just not accepted.  I learned to bide my time and make my comments in private.  I learned that my mood and attitude show – when I was coming from a place of humility and hurt, the message was better received.  I learned to consider my audience – am I with fellow believers?  In the two positive circumstances I was, in the one negative I was not.  I learned to listen as I speak.  Will I change my behavior, and maybe my attitude, based on these experiences?  I hope so.  I know I have in the short run, and I pray I continue to apply the lessons to my life.

I believe that every day the Lord is giving us opportunities to learn.  It’s what we do with them that matters.  One common example, at least in Atlanta, is driving.  Are we acting like Christians on the highways?  That’s a tough one.  I once had a pastor say his right foot is getting into heaven ten minutes behind the rest of him, in retribution for all his speeding.  This is obviously a joke, but the thought is there.  If my body were to enter heaven piece by piece, I believe my mouth would be the last part to enter – I have used it inappropriately, despite what James teaches in chapter 3 of his book, that the tongue is incredibly powerful (James 3:1-14).

The goal, however, is not to look back, but to look forward.  What is happening right now?  What can I learn from it? How can I apply what I learn? An experience from which we don’t learn is a wasted experience.

Blessings,

Lindy

Lindy is a Christian Speaker and Author and is available to speak at your next business or church event.