Our God is NOT a Deadbeat Dad

March 2017

We all have emotional reactions, intended or not, when we hear the words Father, Dad, and Daddy. Some of us grew up in what was once called nuclear families – one mom, one dad, assorted siblings.  Others grew up in one-parent households.  More commonly those families were headed by single moms, but not necessarily.

And I believe, although I do not have statistics to support this, that at some point in our lives, we had challenges with a paternal unit.  Maybe we disappointed them, or thought we disappointed them. Or maybe they disappointed us.  Maybe we were just looking for love and acceptance, but it always seemed to come at a price.  For example, we felt they were saying, if you do well in school, then I will love you; or if you make the team (be it academic or sports) then I will accept you.  It’s almost like we had to prove ourselves to gain parental love and approval.  Now that I’ve been a parent for multiple decades I realize it probably wasn’t true, but it doesn’t change the way a child feels.

Even worse, though, is the man who sires children but does not raise them.  In fact, the parent in question (and it could be a mom), doesn’t offer any support.  Now, often when we think of support we think of financial support – child support payments, stepping up for housing, food, and clothes,   offering assistance with daily needs.  There are some Disney Dads out there who come in a spoil a child, taking them on vacation and buying meals and trips to the mall or other activities.  They come in and buy a weekend with their children, but are they really supporting them?  Not just spending money on them, but investing in the child – emotionally, psychologically?

Our heavenly Father, for those who know Him as their Abba, is not a deadbeat dad.  The Lord did not just give birth to us then walk away.  In fact, even before we were born, the Lord was part of our lives (psalm 139:13-14) as He knit us together in our mother’s womb.  Then, He didn’t let us just figure out life for ourselves.  He made a plan for us: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).  That’s right!  He didn’t create us then leave us.  He was part of our lives, from the time we were in the womb.  Even as we were incubating, He was making plans.

Think of a project you’ve done. It can be something physical, like building something, or something less tangible, like creating a business.  You know the first step is to come up with the idea, then flesh it out.  The wise worker will write down their plans.  In a building, we create a blueprint.  In business, we create Business Plans, Marketing Plans, and Standard Operating Procedures.  We know what we want to do before we begin.

That’s what the Lord did with you!  How cool is this? Way back when, the Lord planned that your great-great-etc-great-grandparents would come together, to create the next level of greats, all the way down to your parents, and then you.  With all that planning, there is no way there are any accidental births in this world.

But it wasn’t sufficient that you be planned and born.  The Lord, Who loves you more than your own earthly father, set out to make plans for you!  He made plans for you to prosper.  He made plans that no harm should come to you.  He made plans to give you hope.  He made plans for your future.  He took care of everything.

But it doesn’t stop there.  The Lord sees us through these plans.  He tells us something so important in Deuteronomy 31:6 that it is repeated by the writer of Hebrews in 13:5:  “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  He is NOT a deadbeat dad!

When you were in school, he was walking with you.  When you were scared about your first date, He was there.  On your first day of work, He was the One Who opened the doors for you.

Emotionally, when you were crying, and felt alone, He was with you.  That presence that you felt – that’s Him.  When you were laughing, he was dancing too.  Quick story:  many people know the story of the footprints in the sand . . . as a person was looking back over his life, he saw two sets of footprints of in the sand, and realized the second set were those of the Lord, always walking beside him.  But, he noticed only one set of footprints during the storms in his life.  He took his question to the Lord, of why, when he was at his worst, was the Lord not there, walking beside him?  The Lord looks with love at His child and answers, “It was during those times, my love, that I carried you.”

Great story – I still tear up.  But there is a second part to this story that doesn’t seem to be as well known.  In some parts of the sand, rather than two sets of prints walking along, the footprints are scattered all over, like something was happening, going in circles and convoluted patterns.  Again, the son asks his Father, where were you now, during this time?  The Lord smiles on His child with love and answers, “It was at these times we were dancing.”

Yes, God is ALWAYS with you.  He’s there when you’re hurting.  He’s there when you’re laughing.  He’s there when you’re despondent.  He’s there when you’re joyful.  He’s ALWAYS there.  He’s not a deadbeat dad who only shows up for graduations and weddings.  He’s there, supporting you, making sure your needs are met, every day.

How can you know for yourself?  Call Him!  Start talking to Him. Then commence listening to Him.  Listen for Him.  Check to see if you can find serenity in your thoughts and speech – that’s Him.  When you can feel compassion and kindness for others – that’s Him.  When you want to blow up and get angry, but instead shrug your shoulders and move on – that’s HIM!

Look for Him in the Bible.  Yes, I’m directing you to the Bible, just like others have for years.  Read a verse.  Google Bible and you’ll find there are multiple translations (such as the American Standard) so you don’t have to read it in the original Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek.  There are even transliterations, like The Living Bible, which are very easy to read.  But don’t try to read the entire Bible.  Read a verse.  Read a chapter.  Look up a topic, such as Faith, and see what Hebrews 11 (the great faith chapter of the Bible) says on the subject.

Physical, fiscal support is a good thing.  Parents should be there for their children, not only when the children are small, but as they grow.  This is especially true if the child is not making decisions the parents like.  I’m not saying there is never a time for tough love – if dangerous decisions are being made, the parent has a responsibility to step in and be tough.  Jesus was tough! He stood up to bullies, but He also knew when to keep quiet (Matthew 27:14).

Emotional support is equally important, and the Lord always provides that.  Besides prayer and Bible reading, you can often find the Lord’s support through other people.  Find some true Christians and open up to them.  Try attending church.

Another place to meet the Lord may be through music.  I’m not a music girl, but I can appreciate the Lord often speaks through this language.  Tune into a Christian station, or find some Christian artists.  There are songs that will make you soar at the sound of His love, and others that make you weep at the tenderness the Lord displays.  Tenderness always gets to me.  Tell me a story about a father loving His child and I will bawl.  I never equated it with the Lord’s love for me until now, but there it is.

We have an AMAZING heavenly Father.  He loved us before we were born. If you have already been blessed to be a parent, you may understand this.  A baby needs to do nothing to be loved.  The child simply sleeps in your arms, and you can’t take your eyes off them.  They toddle, and you stare mesmerized.  They laugh and your cup runneth over with joy.  They need do NOTHING but exist, and you, as the parent, are awestruck.  You’re not a deadbeat.  You’re involved and part of your child’s life.

That, to the nth degree, is our Lord.  He loves us through every trial and tribulation.  Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  He knows that. He knows it so well He included it in His Book.  He loves you all the more.  He rejoices with us at every victory.  He matches us tear for tear when we cry.

We have an amazing, involved, active, loving dad . . . available every minute of every day.  Enjoy the relationship He wants to have with you.

 

Lindy is a Christian Author and Speaker who is happy to speak at your Church, Retreat, or Conference.  Contact her through Realm at 770-309-9395 or LynnMarie@RealmMinistries.net.  

 

Learn from Sports to Plan Better

February 28, 2017

Whether or not you follow sports, and specifically racing and football, you probably heard about what happened on Sunday at the Daytona 500.  Kurt Busch was only ahead in the last lap of the Daytona 500 yet won the race.

Going back a month to Super Bowl LI, The Patriots were behind the entire game, managed to tie the score in the 4^th quarter (with 31 unanswered points), and won in overtime.  But what is important?  That only the end counts.  Why did Busch win?  According to Analysts, as well as viewers, because others ran out of gas.   Yep, leaders, who were winning, simply ran out of gas, thus had to sit and watch as others beat them.   The same could be said about the Pats beating the Falcons in Super Bowl LI.  The Pats, having been to a number a Super Bowls in the past decade, better understood how to pace themselves for longer pre-game and half-time activities.  So, can we learn from this?

If you plan on winning, and why try for anything less, first ensure you are filled – sleep, eat, exercise, and relax well.  In my Coaching sessions with employees of every level, I ask how they are doing on a personal level.  Are they happy? In a good relationship? Exercising and eating well? Sleeping and taking time for themselves?  These are all important parts of being well-fueled for life.

Every day should be seen as an opportunity to win – whether the goal is to attend a meeting with a great attitude or make a sale.  The sale, by the way, could be just closing to a first meeting, not always signing on the dotted line.  Some days, however, may bring extra stress.  Be ready for game day!  Prepare yourself physically and mentally.  Fill your mind with positive mantras.  Surround yourself with positive people.

You also must learn to pace yourself.  If you watch Iron Man events, you may see that every competitor has a special strength.  The strong swimmers immediately take a large lead, because that it their wheelhouse and they need to stretch themselves far ahead of competitors who are better cyclists and runners.  I’ve known Iron Men who come from behind, because their strength is running.

In one event, a son kept texting his dad how many runners were ahead of him.  This may sound discouraging and hurtful.  In fact, since running was his dad’s strongest event, it helped him greatly, knowing there were only 5, 4, 3, 2, then just one man to beat.  And he did.  He won.  He didn’t get upset by being behind. He paced himself, for his best performance.

Over the weekend I was playing pool.  I played well the first two games, but lost on the 8-ball.  I was thrilled to even make it that far.  But by game 4, having lost 3 in a row, I was tired.  My competitor encouraged me to not give up.  I had lost my energy.  I had been playing for hours, because I showed up early to practice.  I guess I hadn’t paced myself well.  By the way, I did win one of 6 games, a personal best for me with this shark.

We have all seen come-from-behind winners.  We have also seen teams, and people, lose, because they gave up, sometimes when they were behind, sometimes when they were ahead and started getting cocky.  The point is, as you manage your teams at work, deal with clients and vendors, and interact with others in a myriad of ways, you need to keep your edge.  Prepare yourself. Plan well.  Execute flawlessly.  Win.

Call Lindy today for a free Consultation on what she can accomplish in your firm. Whether you need her just once, or on a recurring basis, you will be more successful when Lindy works with you and your staff. Call 770-912-6192 or email LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com today!

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Learn to Listen

February 21, 2017

We are all subjected to, and subject ourselves to, speakers on a regular basis.  We turn on news to listen to anchors talk.  We attend church, locking ourselves into a position where we will listen to someone speak to us.  A student’s job is to listen to speakers! You may be in a job where seminars and webinars are common, so you are, again, subjected to listening to speakers.

Too many speakers, in my experience, talk and talk, yet say very little.  I have heard multiple speakers stuff ten minutes’ worth of content into an entire hour.  It can be very hard to listen to such speakers, and might be one of the reasons for declining attendance at certain events.

Very simply, why should we listen?

• To show your interest.
• To be caring and compassionate.
• To learn. As much as we may know, there is a world of knowledge out there.
• To be polite. Manners count in the professional and personal world.  Be mannerly.
• To show respect. Just because you know more than everyone in the room (and you probably don’t), it still shows respect to allow others to speak.

How do we listen? This may sound simplistic, but let’s visit it anyway . . .

• With eyes and ears. Show your interest by looking at the person speaking and really listening to what is said.
• Verbal and non-verbal agreement show you are listening and care ( murmur uh-huh with a nod).
• Ask appropriate questions to clarify or ask a person to expound. Active listening is repeating key points you find helpful or want to discuss more.
• Wait your turn to respond, and try to respond, not react.
• Without judgment, either verbal or non-verbal (think facial expressions).
• Even if you know the subject, listen to learn.
• Listen to hear and not just to respond.  If you are formulating your next sentence, you are probably not listening really well.

One more point:  when you are the speaker, have respect for your listeners and limit what you say and how long you speak.  Nobody should have to listen to your sales pitch for too long and you can’t be surprised if people get bored listening to you when you drone on and on.

Lindy is an In-house Consultant, Business Coach, Speaker, and Author.  She is The Adjunct Executive to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture.  You can have Lindy in to motivate your Team with Seminars and Workshops, or be more successful when Lindy works with your staff one day a week, with her unique business model. Call 770-912-6192 today.

A Little Love Goes a Long Way

February 14, 2017

We have all been in situations that escalate quickly due to unkind words or even a harsh look.  We have also been in situations where a person disarmed a negative situation with a few words.  I’ve been amazed at the difference a few words of kindness can make.

You have probably heard that a Gentle answer turns away wrath. So why don’t we use it more?  You have probably been told patience is a virtue.  Yet people tend to be impatient.  We are also counseled to consider others before ourselves.

In truth, if we considered others before ourselves, there would probably be fewer car accidents.  Why is it so hard to let the other person in? Yet, if we were considering others before ourselves, we wouldn’t be cutting people off at 65 mph.  Traffic is just a small example because most of us can relate to it.  Think about your words, which carry more impact than an 18 wheeler.  In fact, your words can steer a conversation, either positively or negatively.

It doesn’t matter whether you are at work, at home, shopping, or visiting a neighbor.  Words are powerful, and a little love in our language can make a huge difference.  Whether you are sharing good news or bad news, your tone of voice is part of your message.  Your body language often starts sending your message before you open your mouth.

Small acts of kindness can have extreme benefits.  It may be as simple as a smile, which will be returned with another smile.  That’s a good day.  Start collecting smiles and see how high you can count.  Letting someone in line in front of you may mean the difference, for a busy mom for instance, of getting home before the bus returns her children.  Yes, sometimes it makes that much of a difference.

What act of kindness would you enjoy today?  If someone treated you to lunch? A sincere compliment? A gift left on the table? Doing a task without being asked? Fixing something you didn’t even realize was bothering you (think squeaky door or something).

There are a plethora of ways to show your love.  They really don’t take that much time and effort, but the appreciation will probably be exponential.  Further, the memory will last a LONG time!  I don’t want to get too personal here, but last fall a friend told me he had assigned himself a chore at my house.  Really? Yep, he noticed that some screws were loose in my garage doors, so he brought his tools and set to work, ensuring all the screws were tightened.  To this day I am amazed when I think what might have happened if a simple task hadn’t been addressed.  I didn’t even know I needed the favor, yet I will be forever grateful.  It would have been enough if he had simply informed me of the problem, but he went one step further.  Wow!

The same kinds of things you would like others to do for you, would probably be appreciated by others. So if you wish someone would bring donuts to the office as a surprise, today would be a good day to do that for others.  If you would appreciate someone noticing what a great job you did, then you could look for outstanding jobs by others that may be overlooked.

It won’t take long, or much, for you to find some great ways to show a little love – kindness, peace, patience – so start today.  Try to make it a daily habit.  You will receive more than you give.

                Lindy is a Speaker for Corporations holding events, from Lunch ‘n Learns to All Hands Meetings to Annual Meetings.  She has a unique Business Model where she will work with all members of your staff on an on-going basis, so everyone is coached and improves.  With this model, attrition drops greatly because nobody wants to walk away from a company that invests in their employees this way.  In addition, Corporate Culture soars.  Call Lindy today at 770-912-6192 to book an interview, or contact her on Linked In.

You’re Worth What You Do

February 7, 2017

This message isn’t quite as clear, or as kind, as the title suggests.  Please do not believe that this is a jovial, rose-glasses-colored article, telling you that you’re great.  It’s not, although it could be.  The message here is, you’re worth as much as you’re willing to do.

We all know the people in life, who just skate by.  Sometimes on their own, doing as little as possible, and sometimes on others’ coat tails.  You’ve had them in your group and have chosen to do your best to avoid working with them in future.  They really accomplish very little.  A person who does very little, and accomplishes, very little, is worth very little.  Thus, they are easy to let go.

This is true in business relationships as well as friendships.  A friend who is only available when you are putting forth the effort is easy to skip on the invitation list.  Be careful to not be one of these people, and do your best to break ties with these people.

Similarly, if you are willing to work, but only do what anyone else can do, you’re replaceable.  The reason some jobs don’t pay overly well is that the job can be done by so many people with a minimum amount of training.  I think everyone should be a cashier, preferably in a fast food restaurant, at some point in their life, so they can see that it isn’t always a cakewalk.  At the same time, there are thousands of people who can do the job, thus a simple supply and demand curve will show that price (pay) will remain low.  The good news is that there is an abundance of this type of work so another job will come along (albeit at similarly low pay).

Now, the better thought is that if you do a lot, you’re worth a lot.  People want to be around you and want to keep you around.  So the question is, how do you do a lot?  Well, once employed, keep busy!  If you see a need, fill it.  Don’t ask – act.  It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission, so it’s better to perform a task that needs to be done, even if you’re not technically the person for the job.  Maybe nobody has been assigned the job and you now have a new responsibility.

Beyond that, volunteer.  It doesn’t matter what the job is, and how it is asked, just make it clear that you are available to help – with anything!

The above suggestion needs to be accompanied by the thought, be humble.  Yes, humility will get you ahead.  Never make the mistake of believing a job is beneath you.  Nothing is.  It doesn’t matter how many degrees you have or how many years of experience – if you want to be needed and valued, make it clear that you are available.  Let others say, “Oh, no, you are too valuable and are needed for other work.” Then let them use you for better things.  They may not have considered you until you made yourself available.

Another way to show what you’re worth: Do unique things.  You will be worth a lot because you will be irreplaceable.  The surgeon is worth a lot because only a small percentage of people can legally operate on others.  An accountant is valuable because they have knowledge that is necessary to make a firm run legally.  A good sales rep can’t be let go because they have abilities to close sales when others can’t get in the door.

Use the information above, like seeing a need and filling it, to create a unique niche for yourself.  You will become irreplaceable if you’re the only one with knowledge and abilities.

Likewise, use your talents –  you are worth a lot because you are irreplaceable if you have a talent nobody else has.  Talents can be the ability to communicate, to organize, or to keep moving when others freeze.  Think creatively and discern your talents.

Finally, have a good attitude.  I’ve taught for years that people rarely lose a job due to inability, because most people can be trained.  People will, however, lose a job due to a poor attitude.  Keep a good attitude and you will be worth a lot because you are easy to work with.

So, you are worth what you do.  Do a little, be worth a little.  Do a lot, be worth a lot.  The choice is yours!

Lindy is an In-house Consultant, Business Coach, Speaker, and Author.  She is The Adjunct Executive to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture.  You can have Lindy in to motivate your Team with Seminars and Workshops, or be more successful when Lindy works with your staff one day a week, with her unique business model. Call 770-912-6192 today.