Control v Controlling

June 27, 2017

I had a great conversation recently about the importance of Control.  We can, and need to, control ourselves.  We need to control our mouths, both what we say and how we say it.  We need to control our actions, from inappropriate non-verbal signals to the more nebulous choices we make.  We need to control our thoughts, or at least take captive anything questionable.

Control, in the right amount and direction, is a good thing.  We want to, and need to, be in control of our lives.  We have options about a slew of things, from what time to wake in the morning to what time to go to bed. We really do choose where we work even if we don’t feel like it was a choice.  More importantly, we choose our actions throughout our day, both at home and work.

Controlling, however, is a negative form of control.  Control pertains to ourselves, controlling pertains to others.  There’s the difference.

You are in control when you choose to rise early and exercise.  You are controlling when you demand that others rise early and exercise.  You are controlling when you dictate how others spend their time.  We won’t even approach the idea of trying to control others’ thoughts.

Of course, you can influence others through your own actions and words.  That’s not controlling.  Demanding their obedience is controlling.  Encouraging rational thought that leads to good decisions is not controlling.  Being in control of your own emotions gives you more credibility when you try to influence others.

We all know the line, Do what I say, not what I do.  I don’t think so!  If you’re unemployed because you’re lazy then you have no platform to give advice about finding a job and the importance of hard work.

People listen to successful people.   They also watch successful people to see what made them successful, they don’t just listen to what they believe made them successful.

A client recently told me about a mutual colleague who landed a huge account.  Awesome!  My client told me it was the colleague’s tenacity that made her successful.  Maybe the person is tenacious, but that’s not what won her the account.  In this case it was being in the right place, a fast food restaurant, where she saw the person she had been trying to get a meeting with.  It was her audacity, in that she walked up to the person and introduced herself, that made her successful.  So we can hear that it was tenacity, but we see that it was a combination of luck and confidence that led to approaching, then landing, the client.

While the word controlling has a negative connotation, sometimes it takes someone being a little controlling to get the best from their team.  We set the time for a meeting and expect everyone to be fresh and on time.  Is that controlling, or good leadership?  Are sales quotas controlling, or a means of measurement?  Is it controlling to set hours of operation, or good communication?

The words control and controlling can get blurry, but in general, being in control of yourself is a fabulous thing to strive toward and achieve.  Controlling others, without good leadership skills, is a whole other, and not good, matter.

Lindy is an In-house Consultant, Business Coach, Speaker, and Author.  She is The Adjunct Executive to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture.  You can have Lindy in to motivate your Team with Seminars and Workshops, or be more successful when Lindy works with your staff one day a week, with her unique business model. Call 770-912-6192 today.

Counting Backwards to Success

June 20, 2017

You have the ability to exercise . . . but don’t.

You have the ability to make healthy food . . . but don’t.

You have the ability to make well thought out and intelligent decisions . . . but you don’t.

You have the ability to make rash and emotional choices based on nothing concrete . . . and this you do.

We all want good things I life.  Common sense and logic tells us to plan and work for these things.  Yet too often people chase get rich quick schemes when the same effort put into a legitimate job would gain far more in the long run.

People determine that a job or education or some tasks are beneath them.  Not true.  The only thing beneath you is dirt.   Everything else is available to you.  Take a step on that dirt toward your goals.

Oh, you don’t know your goals yet?  Sit down on that dirt and decide . . . where you want to be in 20 years.  Based on that, where do you need to be in 10 years? Based on that, where do you need to be in 5 years to achieve your 20 year goals?  Based on that, where do you aspire to be in 3 years?

Based on all this, what experience, education, and knowledge do you need to achieve to reach your aspirations?  Based on that, what application, either school or job, do you need to fill out tomorrow?

Before you can complete said application, what research do you need to do today to learn what you need to do . . . to gain that education and experience . . . to start your dream . . . so your 3 year, 5 year, and 10 year goals can be reached?

You need to start TODAY to make your 20 year goal a reality.

Lindy is an In-house Consultant, Business Coach, Speaker, and Author.  She is The Adjunct Executive to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture.  You can have Lindy in to motivate your Team with Seminars and Workshops, or be more successful when Lindy works with your staff one day a week, with her unique business model. Call 770-912-6192 today.

Consequences Can Be Positive

June 13, 2017

Too often the word consequences carries a negative connotation.  Oooh – he’s going to have to deal with the consequences.  Oh no, she doesn’t understand the consequences of her actions.  Always bad, right?

But consequences can be positive.  For instance, I work in the yard early in the morning.  Please know, I would prefer to be inside, either sleeping or reading or doing just about anything else.  I am NOT a fan of yard work.  Yet there I am, several days a week.  What are the consequences of my behavior?  In the short term, I may miss sleep or an opportunity to read, but I also get to work in cooler temperatures and more shade as shadows are simply longer at that time of day.  In the mid-term, I get to feel good all day having accomplished something constructive in my yard.  In addition, I can usually rely on a good night’s sleep after some good physical labor.  In the long term, I have a nicer yard. Eventually, this could translate to a higher value of my home and in the meantime it doesn’t hurt the neighborhood.

In the business world, consequences of hard work may, and should, mean more sales.  Consequences of hard work could translate to happy clients and happy bosses.  Hard work probably leads to increased revenue for the company and promotions.  So when you’re tired or frustrated, remember that there are good consequences to your actions when you keep working hard.

Consequences of integrity, of always doing the right thing, leads to consistent nights of good sleep . . . less stress . . . a good reputation.  Long term consequences of your reputation of being a person of integrity could mean that people are unwilling to believe anything bad about you.  I love that!

Good consequences feel especially good when they come about from something we really didn’t want to do, but did anyway.  For example, doing the dishes immediately after supper versus putting them off for a few hours (or days).  You can really enjoy your evening having a simple chore behind you!  And, you have the benefit of walking into a clean kitchen the rest of the evening and feeling good every time you do.  You can go to bed feeling great rather than silently berating yourself for not accomplishing a simple task.  If doing the dishes can bring such great consequences, think about the consequences of achieving a really monumental task!

Let’s start talking about consequences in a very positive way and look forward to the consequences of our good decisions, thus better actions.

                Lindy is a Speaker for Corporations holding events, from Lunch ‘n Learns to All Hands Meetings to Annual Meetings.  She has a unique Business Model where she will work with all members of your staff on an on-going basis, so everyone is coached and improves.  With this model, attrition drops greatly because nobody wants to walk away from a company that invests in their employees this way.  In addition, Corporate Culture soars.  Call Lindy today at 770-912-6192 to book an interview, or contact her on Linked In.

Create Opportunities

June 6, 2017

More and more often I’m seeing ads and blogs about how to save painlessly and mindlessly.  This goes back to the idea of throwing your change into a jar to finance anything from Christmas gifts to a new car or vacation to retirement.

I’m asking, for what are you saving?  If it’s a vacation or new car, then maybe you need to make different decisions and enjoy a smaller vacation or less expensive car now and actually live your life.  If it’s Christmas then you may not be celebrating the season the way it was intended.  If it’s retirement then I encourage you to borrow my philosophy – enjoy your work so much that the idea of retiring is abhorrent.

In order to achieve any of these goals, it is clear to me that you can’t wait for happenstance to go your way.   Instead, you need to create opportunities, as in:

Create:  to cause to come into being; to evolve from one’s own thought or imagination; to perform;  to cause to happen; bring about; arrange (Dictionary.com).

Opportunity: appropriate or favorable time or occasion; a good position, chance, or prospect, as for advancement or success (Dictionary.com).

Really successful people didn’t just arrive there – they worked for their success.  Not only through long hours and late nights, but by creating opportunities to succeed.  You should be the person who says yes whenever an opportunity presents itself.  Some of the tasks may be beneath your pay grade, but higher-ups seeing your dedication and work ethic is exactly where you belong.

Further, volunteer for every opportunity.  When something needs to be done, step in and do it even before others realize the need exists.  Be aware and be there!

You can fabricate opportunities by hosting your own events and inviting the people you want to meet.  Yes, it will take a lot of time and money up front.  Life is a gamble.  You can’t win if you don’t roll the dice.

Use your computer to create opportunities.  With social media, e-blasts, email, and good old fashioned phone calls, you have the world, literally, at your fingertips.  Get going.

So don’t sit by and wait for life to come your way.  Jump into opportunities by acting when you see that something needs to be done and create your own opportunities by setting things in motion.  Even an email or phone call can create your future success.

Lindy Earl is a Business Coach and Speaker, working one-on-one and with groups, from small Entrepreneurships to half-billion dollar companies.  You, and your employees, can be happier and more successful when you hire a Business Coach to listen and help find the best communication and business techniques.  Contact Lindy today at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com or 770-912-6192