Be Interruptible

November 2016

We live in a busy world.  There are a plethora of demands on our time – our spouse needs us, our children need us, our boss needs us, our clients need us, even strangers need our time.  No matter which way you turn, there is someone there!  The world is full of people, and people are full of needs.  In this world, where we are always on stage and in demand, it’s important to be available to everyone.  It’s also important to have time to yourself, thus the term Quiet Time.  I am a huge proponent of Quiet Time and have even taught seminars on the topic. Even so . . .

It’s okay to be busy, and it’s good to have down time, but I want to add a new concept – allow yourself to Be Interruptible.  Please just go with it.

For instance, when you walk, do you walk with your head down, focused on your next task or some decision?  Stop it.  Look up.  Look around.  Smile at others.  Make eye contact.  Be interruptible.  Encourage interruptions.

When you are alone, even in a crowd, how does your Face-At-Rest look?  I know people who look so angry that others shy away from them.  These people weren’t aware that they were scowling and scaring away others. School your features to a pleasant countenance and be approachable.  In other words, be interruptible.

When you’re reading or working or whatever, are people comfortable interrupting you?  Whether at work as a manager or at home with your projects, let people know, both verbally and by your actions, that you value people, you know that people are important, especially family and colleagues, and they can interrupt you.  You may lack sleep for a day, or have to work later than planned, but it’s worth it!

Be interruptible by strangers in the street or in a store.  I enjoy engaging cashiers, as long as there isn’t a line.  Taking a few minutes to interact with a cashier actually improves your experience.  You leave others feeling good about themselves and you, having enjoyed the interaction, feel better about yourself.  You did will!

I encourage you to interrupt your day by investing in others. What can you do to encourage interruptions?  First, stop believing that interruptions are a bad thing.  They are often a needed break.  So, when you interrupt someone else, you are giving them a diversion.  Second, when you interrupt others, there is probably a reason for it – you have a question or need some help.  Maybe you just want that break.  When others interrupt you, you are providing them a service – information, attention, their break, whatever.  What an easy way to serve the Lord!  Just by being available to others.

Again, let others know you are approachable, verbally and non-verbally.  Verbally, tell people that you are happy to be interrupted.  That you value their relationship and they are more important than your project at hand.  Second, non-verbally, with eye contact and smiles.  Did you know the only consistent international non-verbal communication is the smile?  You can miscommunicate across international and cultural lines with words and other non-verbal signs, but the smile is universal.

So let others know you are available to them – Spend your time and attention on others, starting now, by being interruptible.

Say It Plainly

October 25, 2016

If you find yourself saying “in other words,” maybe you should reconsider what you’re saying in the first place.

Communication is a HUGE part of our world.  Unless you’re a hermit, in which case you’re not reading this, you communicate with dozens of people daily.  Some are family and friends, and for unknown reasons, we tend to be harder on these people.  They are supposed to understand what we mean and think and want, even if we fail to communicate our thoughts or make our requests.

We communicate with others we don’t even know, such as other drivers who signal to us that they need to be let in, or just come barreling over.  Cashiers and customer service people too often take a huge hit from poor communication.  Some people are just rude, yet we expect others to smile through it.  Whether or not I’m in a bad mood, I have a responsibility to communicate clearly.

So, please, say it plainly.  If you want me to pass the butter, then say, “Lindy, please pass the butter.”  Let’s look at this complicated sentence.  First, you get the person’s attention.  It’s always a good idea to use name and pronounce the name correctly.  Mine is rarely mispronounced but it’s often misspelled.  Oh well.  Second, use your manners, thus the word, “please.”  Third – see, we are on our third point while only up to the third word in the sentence – communication is complicated.  Third, state your point – verb plus article plus noun.  It’s that easy.

What not to say?  “Wow, it sure would be great if I had butter within reach.”  In the retail world, that sounds like, “There is a spill on aisle 8.”  So?  Whom are you addressing?  What do you want done?  The better communication is, “Joe, please clean up the spill on aisle 8 immediately.”  You’ve addressed the person, included your manners, and specifically made your request.

Too often, communication is disguised.  When you pass a colleague and they ask, “How are you?” then there is a good chance they are just being kind, and the question is just another way of saying hello.  So the obligatory response is, “Fine.”  Do not provide a litany of your achievements or ailments.  If you want to speak plainly, then don’t ask, “How are you?” if your intent is to say, “Good morning.”

If you want to know how many people will attend Thursday’s meeting, don’t ask who will be out of town, because that isn’t your question, and may not be your business.  Discern what you need to know and ask that question, “Mary, are you attending the 10:00am meeting this Thursday?”  You made it easy for Mary to respond with a single word.

Again, keeping it simple, just answer the question.  Yes or no.  Not, “Yes, and . . . “ and definitely not, “No, but you need to understand that . . . .” Just realize there is a head count for lunch and they need only a yes or no.

Say it plainly and improve communication.

Lindy is a Speaker, In-house Consultant, and Business Author, currently living in Atlanta, GA.  She is The Business Coach to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture. You will be more successful with Lindy as your Business Coach.  Read more blogs at https://wordpress.com/post/realmministriesblog.wordpress.com

 

Believe in Yourself

October 18, 2016

Humans are interesting people. I realize how silly that sentence sounds, but we really are an odd combination of good and bad, pretty and ugly, happy and sad.  For instance, as much as we are loved from the minute we’re brought into this world, it’s easy for each of us to believe the bad and the ugly.

For no clear reason, some bad feeling can hit you.  It may be a smell, sound, or words that trigger a negative feeling or memory.  Because of this, we need to be proactive about feeling good about ourselves.

Let’s say something clearly to start:  Nobody has a good childhood.  Bad thoughts and feelings return, as was said, due to sounds or smells or something that reminds us of something negative from our childhood.  Even if you came from the best loving and kind family in the world, something bad happened at some point.  Bullies are everywhere.  Sometimes it’s not even an intentional slur, but it hurts your feelings.

I had a speech impediment as a child and had four years of speech classes.  In 4^th grade our teacher decided to have everyone in the class write something nice about everyone in the class, anonymously.  I think it was supposed to be a confidence-building exercise or something.  Anyway, one of my slips of paper said, “She talks funny.”  Now, why the teacher included that after she told us she read all the papers overnight to be sure nobody used the opportunity to be mean, I can’t imagine.  It made a little 10 year old girl cry.  I was well aware I talked funny!  I had been teased about it since I was 5.  But the poor teacher didn’t have a clue that the words on that paper were heartless and cruel to the mind of a little girl.  Bad things happen in childhood and in life.  We need to deal with it and get past it.  Yes, I am long past what happened in 4^th grade and lost my speech impediment about a year later.

So, knowing that there is ugliness everywhere, you need to know that

You are good.

You’re really okay.

You are who you were meant to be.

You’re intelligent.

You’re able to change what you don’t like about yourself.

So it’s easy to say this, but how do we accomplish this?  First, surround yourself with positive people.  They may or may not be related to you. Just because we are blood kin with someone does not mean that they are a positive influence in our lives.

This came home to me hugely in my first year of College.  I had developed a habit of putting myself down in high school, thinking if I could show that I could laugh at myself, and if I put myself down, I was beating others to the punch.  All that happened is that I received a lot of punches with my own hand.

When I started College, I decided that it wasn’t a healthy thing to do and stopped it.  In fact, what I learned is that others weren’t putting me down. In fact, I was a lot more likeable than I’d ever known.  Now, part of it is the maturity difference between high school and college friends.  The point is, if someone is negative to you or about you or is consistently negative, stay away from that person!

Second, find people who want your best.  If your family doesn’t, stay away from them.  At the very least, don’t confide in them!  There are people in this world who truly like you for who you are—not what you can do for them, but just for your personality, wit, sense of humor, and who you are.  Find people who want to encourage you and build them into your life by spending time with them.

Find a spiritual center, whatever you call it.  You need to look beyond yourself.  You can’t handle this life alone, and the sooner you realize it’s not all about you, and you recognize a power greater than yourself, the sooner you’ll be living the right way.

Fourth, volunteer!  You’ll feel better about yourself; people will look up to you; you’ll be someone’s hero.  Doing for others while expecting nothing in return is actually a good thing.  It again makes it clear that life isn’t just about you, and paying it forward will come back to bless you.

Be a hero as often as you can—play with your children; take your spouse out to dinner; give to charity; let someone go in line before you; pay compliments honestly but regularly.  The smallest word of encouragement can do great things for people.

Be a friend.  Call others, even if they don’t call you back.  Invite people over first and immediately invite people over once they have you over.  Think about how you would like to have your friends treat you and treat others that way, all the time.  Be friendly, outgoing, and cordial.  Show genuine interest in others’ lives and you’ll receive a wonderful return.

Be mannerly.  I’m serious. This shows your quality and is simply the right thing to do.  Mom was right when she taught you manners and there’s never an excuse to not be polite.  As you always use your manners, you’ll realize that you have a good reason to believe in yourself.

You can use this information to be more successful—socially, financially, psychologically, emotionally, professionally.  Be a more successful spouse, parent, sibling, friend, employee, and boss.  You are a good person and fully worthy of believing in yourself.

The Better Consulting Model

October 4, 2016

Whether you are a Consultant, or hire Consultants, the model is pretty normal – you call them, arrange a week or two to have them in, and there they/we are . . . meeting with C-level officers, walking around the office like they belong there, having people whisper and ask who they are.  A good Consultant would then spend a few days asking questions and poring over information, so that by day three they could start making recommendations, to be implemented over the next few days/months/year.  Then the Consultant leaves.  If suggestions were good and there was follow-through then everyone is happy and you’ll call the Consultant back in a year or so.  Or, things may not improve.  In which case you’ll move on to another Consultant.

My model is different!  I realize that going public with this model means others will probably “borrow” my idea, with zero compensation to me.  That’s wrong, but these things happen.  Of course I would prefer that people come to me and say wow, teach me more.

This is the first of two parts, so check back next week for the second half . . .

So, when you call me to make you more successful, and to make your employees happy with a better Corporate Culture, and to increase Sales, and more, the first thing I’ll tell you is that I don’t limit my work to the C-suite.  First of all, many of the officers of a company may not need Coaching.  The ones who do may not be amenable to the idea.  In truth, no matter how good your communication is, you can always learn more or at least revisit and receive a good refresher and some reminders, but . . . some people are too busy or just prefer to not be Coached.  That’s fine.

My goal is to turn employees into Supervisors, Supervisors into Managers, Managers into Directors, Directors into VPs, VPs into Presidents, and Presidents free to look for larger corporations that need their knowledge and skills.  Everybody wins.

The fun part is that, once a Company hires me as a Consultant, attrition drops and nobody wants to leave.  In fact, with an In-House Consultant, who invests in employees, a company attracts better employees.  Corporations actually put me on their list of benefits – insurance, vacations, sick time, and an in-house Consultant.

My Focus

             My job is to make you, and your company, more successful.  That’s it in a sentence.

I focus on Communication, then Marketing/Sales and HR.  Everyone needs help with Communication, even me.  I know because my children tell me.  With experience in Marketing, Operations, Entrepreneurship, Sales, and more, I fit into just about every situation.  And some needs are simply universal.

One of my Seminars is called Every Employee is a Sales Rep.  You can find a blog on this on LI or on the Realm blog.  If you are an Entrepreneur, you are in Sales. If you are a CEO, you are in Sales.  If you are a University President, you are in Sales.

So while I focus on Communication, there is no department or corporation where I can’t help and bring more success.  I tend to work in companies with 50-100 employees in one area or within a department of larger corporations.  I also provide one-on-one Business Coaching to Entrepreneurs and smaller companies.

How It Works

So, when a client calls and asks my availability and rate, we begin.  If they are planning on a two week, 10-day Consultant, I take those ten days and spread them over two and a half months, where I will be in the office one day a week.

So day one I go around and actually meet everyone.  I introduce myself and learn people’s names, titles, and tasks.  And I begin to ask my questions and learn from everyone, not just the C-levels.  As I ask my questions, people have a week to answer, because Day 2 doesn’t come the next day.

I’ve learned that when I return one day a week, it allows people time to think about the challenges and really respond, versus just react.  Further, when I request an example to support what I’m hearing, they have a week to find a real life example.

So day three happens two weeks after the initial meeting, and by now people are feeling comfortable and I’m able to get really great feedback.  This continues all the way, so that by the time we are implementing ideas and changes, I am there to see the results.  Further, the company has a week to try something and when I return, there is anecdotal evidence of what is working, and possibly even why.

A great side effect of this is that companies don’t want me to go.  While it began as a 10-day Consulting job, years later I am still on the job.  Enjoying the alliteration of it, the mantra becomes, “Let Lindy Do It.”  Knowing I will be there regularly, when a question arises, or an issue/challenge/problem, people can say, just wait a few days and let Lindy deal with it.

For VPs, Directors, and Managers, I bring a plethora of ideas when they have a situation and are not sure of the best solution. In addition, I’m a good sounding board before they implement their ideas.

For lower level employees, I’m the source of advice for How to get the next promotion, How to work with untenable managers, and more.

For all employees, I work on communication skills.  A great side effect of this is that what is learned in the office can be transferred to home life, so relationships with spouses, children, and neighbors improve as well as relationships with clients, employees, colleagues, and vendors.

Role plays.  While role playing isn’t always the most popular task, the truth is it helps GREATLY.  Actually practicing what to say and how to say it prepares you for unexpected responses and builds your confidence for the upcoming conversation.  A good role play only works with an experienced Coach.

Coming next:  Who likes this model, What I do, Rules, and more about me.

          Lindy is an experienced Speaker, In-house Consultant, and Business Author, currently living in Atlanta, GA and works all over the US and the world. She is The Business Coach to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture. Read more blogs at https://wordpress.com/post/realmministriesblog.wordpress.com/213