Don’t Wait . . .

August 2017

“He said to them, ‘It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority’” (Acts 1:7).

People talk about time a lot, which is rather ironic in itself.  Here we are, using time to talk about time . . . rather circular, huh?  Even Benjamin Franklin on the topic:  “Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.”  Ignoring the poor grammar, this is an excellent point.  Life is made of time – seconds, minutes, hours, days . . . you get the point.

So much of our time is filled for us.  As children we are in school for 35 hours every week, 180 or so days of the year.  As adults, once it’s time for us to pay our bills, we work a minimum of 40 hours a week, 50 weeks of the year.  In addition to the time at work, we have time prepping for work, or traveling to and from work.  We also have time on what I call house hygiene, such as laundry, cleaning, and cooking.  Happily we have time-saving machines that increase our efficiency for many of these tasks. Rather than taking laundry to the river and beating it on a rock, we toss them into a machine while we go about other tasks, whether more chores or maybe reading.  It helps.

The question remains, are we using the time we have left, well?  Are we making good use of the time we have, each day, week, and month?  Now, as a work-a-holic, I’m not putting my outrageous demands on others, for which my children are thinking, “Thank you!”  I am saying that it’s up to all of us to, first, know where our time needs to be spent, and, second, use our time efficiently toward our goals.

For instance, as students our goals should have included learning the material in each class. Paying attention and taking active part in class was a good first step in that process.  Reading material daily and reviewing notes regularly was a great second step.  The final step was reviewing the night before a test or presentation. We all know, however, that some people skipped steps one and two, and went straight to reviewing the night before the test.  Although, it wasn’t exactly a review as they never really saw the material the first several opportunities they had, so an entire new word was created for this last minute process:  cramming.

We all know that, in general, cramming is not as successful, especially for long term success, as daily reading and continual understanding.  Yet, we have seen people take this approach with life and death.  They choose to skip classes, they don’t bother to read the Book, and they ignore many of the opportunities to learn, instead relying on cramming – a last minute, death-bed proclamation of faith in Christ.  That will be sufficient to get them into heaven, as long as they time it right and don’t miss the opportunity.  That would be a life or death mistake.

Another point, for Christians who have chosen to give their lives to Christ – what will your reward in heaven look like? Will it be the same for everyone? What are you doing now, with the time given to you, to be Christ-like?  I’m not talking about constantly sharing the gospel with everyone in our paths.  That would get old quickly for both the speaker and the listener.  There are, however, simple things to implement on a daily basis to live a good life, and model the life of a believer versus just talking about it.

For instance, when you see a need, fill it.  While sitting in the kitchen, chatting with a family member or friend, rinse a dish and put it in the dishwasher.  Your action, thus your thoughtfulness, and you, will be appreciated.  You are acting the life of a giver, not just mouthing it.

At work, when you see a file that needs to be moved, put it away.  Your actions, over time, will be noticed.  They may even cause a promotion, but that’s not why you’re doing it. You’re using the time you have to be helpful, to be useful, to be a good Christian.

At any event, be it a professional show or game or a neighborhood sports match, be the nice person – who brings extra water for those who forgot, who parks at the end of the lot leaving better spots for others, who has a kind word to say as an encourager.

These are just a few examples of what you can do, immediately, to share God’s love with others, and model good Christ-like behavior.  You won’t have to tell people you’re a Christian, as they will see it.

At the same time, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share the truth of Scripture when an opportunity arises.  You should even train your ear to listen for clues that someone is interested in learning more.  The more they see Christ in your life, although they may not even realize Who or what they are seeing, the more they will be interested in what you have to say.

So, never miss an opportunity . . . to say I love you . . . to do the right thing . . . to act on your beliefs . . . to be kind for the sake of being kind . . . to volunteer . . . to help others . . . to share the truth of the gospel . . .

I know people who don’t live their lives.  They were waiting to hear the truth of salvation, yet nobody ever realized that they were lost.  These people may have saved and saved so they could retire.  Now they are too old or too tired or too dead.  And none of that matters anyway.  You can make a difference in so many peoples’ lives, starting now.  Think.  Act.  Do.  Be the Christian you are called to be, so people can see the truth of the gospel in your actions as well as hear it in your words.  Your actions may speak louder than your voice.  Just don’t wait to start!

How to Succeed as a Millenial

July 25, 2017

It is unreasonable to group a generation, or even a decade of people, suggesting that the group will behave in one style.  Yet that’s what happened with hippies in the 60’s, and punkers and goth in the 80’s and 90’s.    I do have to wonder if every generation looks at the one below and questions their abilities to adequately lead.  I’m guessing my parents looked at my friends and me and shook their heads.

Right now, millennials have a reputation, in my professional world, of having bad attitudes and feeling entitled.  I know firsthand stories of college graduates quitting their first professional job because they don’t get promoted quickly enough.  In one case, it was four months.  The behavior of one, or a few, can give an entire group a bad name.

While I believe you shouldn’t make decisions based on a few outliers, the millennials have a reputation for a reason, and must now deal with it.  So, with all humility and in an effort to help, please let me share the following . . .

Millenials, if you want to succeed, drop the attitude.  You may say you don’t have an attitude, but if others see it, then their observation is your reality.  Like everyone else who was once your age, you don’t know what you don’t know, but you won’t realize this  for another 20 years.  Now is the time to observe, learn, and apply.

The millennial mindset cannot apply to every person of this group, but there are some specific things that you can do, immediately, to ensure your individual success:

Show up, ON TIME.  Create such a reputation for timeliness that, if you’re ever late for a very legitimate reason such as a death in the family, the everyone waiting for you will know, without being told, that something serious happened because you’re never late.

Learn how to spell entire words.  Drop text spelling from emails. If you didn’t learn your grammar in school, educate yourself. You can always ask someone to review your work and explain where the apostrophe belongs and why.  Being a grammar nerd (although I wasn’t until I was 20), I promise you we love to share grammatical rules with others.  Your casual form of speaking and writing may be acceptable, but they will not put you on the fast track to the C-suite.

Be quick to volunteer!  Nothing is beneath you, any more than it is beneath any of us.

Accept any and all opportunities that comes your way.  Doing so will set you apart from your colleagues, show that you’re a team player, and provides opportunities for you to show your skills, not just talk about them.

Respond to everyone immediately if only to say you don’t yet have an answer.  One of the four parts of communication is feedback, so when you respond that you will provide an answer at another time, that closes the communication loop and lets the sender know they have been heard.

Learn your manners and use them.  It is never wrong to wait patiently until a conversation is finished so that you don’t interrupt.  The words please and thank you are always appreciated.  Manners show respect, and as you respect others, they will respect you.

You are entitled to anything for which you work.

In fairness, these are good rules for everyone, not just millennials.  Go conquer the world.

 

Lindy is an In-house Consultant, Business Coach, Speaker, and Author.  She is The Adjunct Executive to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture.  You can have Lindy in to motivate your Team with Seminars and Workshops, or be more successful when Lindy works with your staff one day a week, with her unique business model. Call 770-912-6192 today.

 

 

Understanding Communication

July 18, 2017

Communication should be easy, right?  We grow up communicating from the moment we’re born.  A child emerges from the womb and cries, to communicate their displeasure as being cold or uncomfortable.  The crying continues as their main method of communicating discomfort, either hunger or dirtiness, for quite a while.

Eventually, the child learns more appropriate forms of communication, starting with pointing to the plate of cookies, to saying, “me want cookie,” to asking, “Please may I have a cookie?”  They are all synonymous in their messages yet we find some more socially acceptable than others.  At the same time, how often do adults point at their watches to show that they are concerned about the time?  Interesting, huh?

Understanding communication is technically simple, as there are only four parts:  the sender, the message, the receiver, and feedback.  All four parts are required in all communication, but all four parts need not be verbal (oral or written).  A head nod is feedback, showing acceptance or understanding.

The challenge I see repeatedly, as a Business Coach, is that the last piece, feedback, is often missing.  If an email is sent, the first three pieces are obviously achieved – there was a sender, a message, and recipient(s).  Has communication taken place?  No, not according to the definition of communication.  When the receivers either respond by email, or text a thumbs up, or comment in the corridor that they saw the message and are on board or not, then there is communication.

You might wonder, is it really necessary?  Can’t a boss, colleague, sales rep, manager, or parent in the personal world, assume the message was received?   Sure!  And many, many times they will be correct.  They cannot, however, claim to have communicated if expectations aren’t met.

Sending an email or text, leaving a voicemail, even face to face contact is not a guarantee of communication.  Who has not heard of a conversation where one person can point out where they were when they shared information, and how the other person nodded and agreed (both non-verbal and verbal communication in tandem), yet the listener has no memory of the incident.  This is why it is important, if you truly want to be a great communicator, to seek clear feedback.

For example, “Will you be at the meeting on Friday?” is asked, with an affirmative response, either a head nod or “Yep”, “Yes sir”, even a “You know it.”  Better communication would be, “Taylor (to clearly indicate the recipient as well as show respect), will be you at the IT meeting on Friday from 1:00-2:00 in the upstairs conference room?”  It may seem tedious, but it is better communication.  You could even throw the date in there if there are multiple Friday IT meetings.

If you are the one responding, replace your simple yes response with something like, “Yes, I am looking forward to Friday’s IT meeting because Chris is sharing follow up information on the seminar.”  That is better communication! It is especially helpful if it sheds new light on the information being shared, such as you were discussing two different meetings, or you didn’t know Chris was presenting.

Once you understand the importance of having all four parts of communication, then improve your messages by adding specific information, such as names, dates, times, and places.  If you want the conference room cleaned after a meeting, put someone in charge, and list assistants by name, with the time the task should be completed.  Be sure to receive feedback that everyone heard your message.

If you have questions, please communicate them to me!

You can have Lindy in to help with office Communication, which will impact personal communication as well.  Lindy is an In-house Consultant, Business Coach, Speaker, and Author.  She is The Adjunct Executive to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture.  You can have Lindy in to motivate your Team with Seminars and Workshops, or be more successful when Lindy works with your staff one day a week, with her unique business model. Call 770-912-6192 today.

Words People Dislike

July 2017

I have found there are some words that people, even good, upstanding, Christian people, simply dislike.  Some of these are Sanctify, Meekness, Fear, and Submission, in any form – submit, submissive.  Words about submitting seem to be especially disliked by women.

When you look at the words from a Biblical perspective, they are all strong words.

Sanctify: to make holy; set apart as sacred; consecrate; to purify or free from sin (Dictionary.com).  I think it may be that sanctify sounds like such a righteous word.  When you look at the definition, it’s a great concept.  If we sanctify our time with the Lord, we are setting it apart.  If we sanctify a marriage, we are stating our goal to keep it pure from sin.  None of this is bad, yet the word sanctify gets a bad reputation.

Maybe people confuse the word with sanctimonious, which means making a show of being morally superior to other people (dictionary.com).  Sanctify is a good, strong, Biblical concept.  Sanctimonious is not.

Have you ever thought you’d like to be more humbly patient or docile?  I think, especially after an argument, many of us wish we could be more docile.  Well, humbly patient and docile is the definition of meekness (Dictionary.com).  How is that a bad thing?  And in The Beatitudes, given during Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, He tells us the meek will inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5).  So why do we look down on the meek?  It’s a good Biblical attitude.

Fear means respect. From the Pentateuch through Malachi in the Old Testament, when we are told to Fear the Lord, we are being told to respect the Lord.  Think how frustrated people get when we feel we are being disrespected, and we really are not worthy of respect the way the Lord is.  How much worse when we fail to respect, or fear, the Lord.  Fear is a good word here.

Submit mean to accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person. (Dictionary.com). Obey means to comply or behave in accordance (Dictionary.com).

When I speak, either in the business world or in Christian settings, I am surprised how strongly people, especially women, react to these words.  Once while giving my seminar, LOL – Listen, Obey, and Learn, I was asked mid-way through the event to stop using the word obey, because it set a woman’s “teeth on edge.”  I completed the seminar with every possible synonym.  Another woman approached me afterwards to say I had been obedient in not using the word again. I appreciated her humor.

Consider the people we are taught to submit to and obey: parents, teachers, pastors – all people who should have our best interests at heart.  As adults, when we find ourselves in these positions, don’t we want the best for the people we ask to obey and submit to us?

These terms tend to have a common theme: humility. We know, Biblically, that pride, the opposite of humility, comes before destruction (proverbs 16:18) but humility comes before honor (Proverbs 18:12).  In our lives, of course none of us wants destruction!  We would happily welcome honor, or as some versions suggest, blessings.  These words, which too often carry negative connotations, are all, in actuality, very positive terms.

Listen When the Answer is No

July 11, 2017

I had the uncomfortable experience, as have you, of having to say no to someone.  We have all been in this situation so we all know how hard it can be.  Whether it is a personal situation, or professional, as mine was, it is hard to tell people the answer is no.  Why?

People who are kind and thoughtful, as are all the people reading this, never want to disappoint others.  In addition, there could be a niggling doubt in our minds, even as we know we do not have the time or interest in pursuing the opportunity, that MAYBE we should.  We should not.  We don’t want others to dislike us, so we probably say yes when we should say no.  Agreeing to do things where we do not have an interest, let alone a passion, can lead to poor performance.  It’s just something else to get off our To Do List.  Better to say no and let them find a person better suited to the task.

I think one of the reasons it is so hard to say the word no is that we don’t like to hear the word to our queries.  Why?  Sometimes we just need someone to pick up the slack and we want our job of finding someone over.  Sometimes we really think it is an honor and are surprised when the answer is no.  Whatever the reason, it’s hard to hear a negative response, making it harder to say no when it’s our turn to decline.

I’m taking this elementary discussion a bit further.  In my most recent experience, I gently explained that I was not interested in the opportunity, with appropriate thanks for the offer.  Maybe I was too kind.  The person came back with, “Yes, but . . . “  I again declined.  I woke to an email with an invitation to attend a seminar so I could learn more (it wasn’t even close to me!) and an invitation to talk again in a few weeks.  NO!  I’m not interested. No, I’m not going to tell my friends and colleagues.  In fact, whereas I may have referred you to others before, due to what you believe is tenacity but I find obnoxiously persistent behavior, that’s gone.  I may even block you.

When you say no to a request, you do not need to offer any explanations or excuses.  Say it kindly and gently, maybe even offer a thank you for being considered. Then stand firm in your decision.

When you hear a negative response to your request, Listen!  Accept it.  Walk away.  Find someone who is happy to say yes.

Lindy is an In-house Consultant, Business Coach, Speaker, and Author.  She is The Adjunct Executive to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture.  You can have Lindy in to motivate your Team with Seminars and Workshops, or be more successful when Lindy works with your staff one day a week, with her unique business model. Call 770-912-6192 today.