Make the Most of Your Time

July 2016

We all remember forgetting to write a paper or study for an exam.  And we remember, as our parents turned into the driveway, that we were supposed to complete some chore.  One time, as mom’s car was arriving home, I RAN up the steps to tackle that ironing.  I very quickly ironed some of the easier items, then as my mom entered the front door and called hello, I answered that I was upstairs ironing . . . and she was pleased.

That, and events like that, are what are called Cram Sessions.  They may work in the short term or for a specific project.  I can cram an hours’ worth of ironing into less time, as long as the items are not held up to too much scrutiny.  And yes, I have received an A on a paper that was written in less than half an hour before class began.  But we all realize that Cram Sessions are not the best way for us to live our lives and perform our work in the long run.  In many cases, which will be discussed, Cram Sessions don’t work at all.

We, people, you and me, cannot cram for relationships.  We can’t cram for finances or for healthy living such as exercise and eating right.  We can’t cram for certain projects like putting two coats of paint on a wall.

What are your long term relationships and projects?  Maybe marriage, or parenting, or your career, or owning your own home.  There are some simple steps through which we all travel, whether or not you think about it and realize all the steps, or whether you kind of just drift through them.  A simplistic list would be to Decide . . . Set your Goals . . . Research what it takes to achieve your goals . . . Create a Plan . . . and put your steps into Action.

For instance, if marriage is your plan, whether or not you’ve set it as a hard and fast goal or if it’s just some nebulous future for you, then start now to become a person who someone who is pretty terrific would want to marry.  Make yourself into marriage material.  Make the most of your time becoming who you want to be some day.  You can do this through studying healthy couples and marriages.  Hint:  playing video games all day will not make you fantastic marriage material.

If being an excellent parent is your goal, whether or not you have ever listed it on your bucket list, then start now to be the kind of person who will be a good parent.  Make decisions that put others first.  If you’re used to putting friends, then a spouse, first, then it will be an easier transition to put your children at the top of your priority list.  If you continue to live for yourself until babies arrive, then you may be trying to cram for parenthood, and that doesn’t work out well.  It’s not a class you can skip for a semester then show up and ace the final.  It takes attention to homework and daily assignments.

If your career is your goal, and it’s a good and fair goal, then partying and sleeping late and all weekends is not how to make the most of your time.  Careers don’t just happen and some people don’t just get lucky.  They work hard.  They come in early, they stay late.  They give up socializing when they need to complete work.  They volunteer for every job, especially the ones that others don’t want.  This is how they get noticed.  They don’t cram at the last minute for a presentation.  They take time to plan and practice it.  Yes, the bosses of this world can tell when you have practiced your presentation ahead of time.  And when you’re the boss, you’ll be able to tell, and know who should be promoted and who crammed at the last minute.

If your goal is to have good relationships, then make the most of your time now.  You need to invest at least a little bit of time every day, or at least regularly.  You can’t expect a close relationship with your parents, for instance, if you invest ten minutes on a call once a week.  That’s not a relationship, that’s checking to be sure they didn’t die.  Call them daily.  Ask about what they did.  Involve yourselves in the lives of people with whom you desire a relationship.  It’s like dating, when everything the other person did, even what they ate, was of interest to you. I’m not suggesting you check their diets, but take an interest in them.  This is how good relationships are built.  Make the Most of Your Time and spend a little bit of that time, every day, with the people who matter to you.

If your goal is a house or some other material possession, then make your decision now to live a little poorer, so you have more to put aside for your goal.  Every business major should be able to explain the time value of money, so ask someone if you don’t know.  A little put away today can mean a lot in the future.

And finances is yet another place that you simply can’t cram.  If you live beyond your income, you will be broke, and broken.  Actually, thinking about finances and weight together makes sense, because both use similar principles.  In finances, you need more income than outgo.  In diet and exercise, you need more outgo than in come.  Poorly structured sentence, I know, but it’s to make a point.  To make the most of your time, you need to decide ahead of time what your goals are, and what steps you need to take to live a happy life overall, not just a happy 24 hours.

You are, of course, allowed breaks.  Every minute doesn’t have to be, and can’t be, constructive.  Schedule breaks – in the olden days they were called vacations.  Some people are structured and need to plan breaks into their days.  Some people are the opposite and need to plan work into their play.  Make your choices, knowing that all decisions have consequences.  To make the most of your time, look forward to what and where your decisions will get you in one, five, ten, and twenty years.  I know when you’re younger it’s harder to look ahead.  It’s for your own good that you should.  You can’t achieve your goals until you set them.  And you can’t achieve them without Action.  Start today to Make the Most of Your Time.

Responsibility Trumps Happiness

June 14, 2016

I had a conversation recently, about what parents want for their children.  The gentleman with whom I spoke commented that all parents want their children to be happy.  He told me this after I told him that my children’s happiness was my second goal for my sweet cherubs (setting aside religious priorities).

I had just told this gent that my goal for my children is that they be able to afford the lifestyle they desire, or manage to live on the income that they manage to generate.  All my children are college age at this moment.  They are making slow progress in their educational process.  There seems to be some resentment, not just with mine but with students with whom I come into contact, about education.

In my day, I recall that, as students, we tolerated some classes as Gen Ed requirements.  Others we enjoyed.  Some we suffered through.  We were after an education, and realized that the classes were there to achieve our goal. It seems that today, however, too many students just want the degree, with or without the education.  They seem to enter college believing they already know what they need, so they just want that piece of paper so they can begin their million dollar career.

Back to my conversation about my children.  I believe it is more important for my children to be functional members of society, able to provide for themselves and any children they choose to bring into this world, than to be happy.  Of course I want them to be happy, but better to be able to pay their bills and be unhappy, than to be happy and leaching off society or others within that society.

I realize this may be an odd statement in today’s socioeconomic culture.  In today’s world, even more than I remember from my limited years in the ‘60’s and the hippy culture, it seems to be about getting what you want, even at the expense of others.  Back then if you didn’t like the war, you left the country.  If you didn’t like the status quo, you blamed the establishment.  I am not here to comment on our country as a whole, or on the millennials or other generations.

I am saying, I would rather have my children grow up to be self-reliant even if they aren’t always happy, than be happy and dependent on others or on the government.

How to Fail

June 7, 2016

You probably don’t need all of the ideas shared below, and some are very similar, but sometimes people need to hear it in a different way.  Some are almost opposites, because different people need to find different ways to fail. Take what you need and skip the rest.

Don’t think like an outsider.

Always delegate difficult jobs.

Command, don’t persuade.

Avoid transparency.

Encourage dependency.

Thwart all communication amongst others.

Pass blame and do so publicly.

Be capricious.

Stop autonomy.

Accept kudos whether deserved or not and do it loudly and publicly.

Always take the easy route.

Legalities are optional.

Stick with the theory that you have always done things one way and it’s the only way.

Condescend! Explain all the obvious and easy things.

Waste time.

Never share credit.

Never take notes.

Don’t take advice.  You know it all.

Micromanage.

Trust slowly.

Demand much.

Use a ‘need to know’ communication theory.

Make major changes that require huge efforts every 3-6 months.

Waver on all decisions.

Know that short term is all that matters.

Take what you can get.

Don’t leave it better than you found it.

Take no risks.

Keep a bad attitude.

Assume people are trying to cheat you.

Know that what others think of you matters.

Keep repeating yourself if people don’t immediately respond.  Use the same words and same tone.

Be controlling!

Expect and assume the worst.

Never apologize.

Never forgive.

Have a long memory and hold a grudge.

Now, these are obviously tongue in cheek.  Sadly, we all know people, often our past bosses, who do any number of these things. The title is accurate.  If you do these things, you are probably going to fail, especially as an Entrepreneur or Small Business Owner. I’m sure there are a plethora of items that could be added to this list . . .