By Lindy Earl

September 2018

I love to laugh.  I want to laugh every day.  It’s refreshing and renewing and energizing.

However, when I’m nervous or insecure, I withdraw.  Not only do I want to physically disappear but my sense of humor goes on hiatus.

I’m also an introvert, so groups of people drain me and I recharge when I’m alone.

I’m currently looking for a new church, and this has put me in a weekly state of distress.  As an introvert, a long service can completely deplete me!

Today, the pastor told the congregation to find 4-5 people near them (you’re expecting a handshake, like I did, right?) and tell then that they look better than you expected.  I guess it was supposed to be funny.

But when you’re the new kid, the introverted new kid, the introverted new kid who loses their sense of humor and wants to withdraw – it’s not.  Just shaking hands with 4-5 people is stressful.  Sharing a mean comment – I can’t do it!

Do I not have a sense of humor, or is it hidden beneath my insecurity?

I think characteristics like a sense of humor, or even traits of kindness and compassion, can be squashed by feelings of discomfort.  I think anger can hide a slew of feelings!  If you take umbrage at something, then your sense of propriety may be covered and you may respond inappropriately.  It happens.

So just when we should be most open, we are less so.  How should we handle this?

It would be nice if others would realize that what they intend as humor often falls flat.  That has happened to all of us.  The joke just didn’t translate.  But we can only affect what we do, not what others do.

So, a few ideas that I will try to hold onto, and am sharing with you . . .

Pray over yourself to be covered and insulated from insults and rude remarks.  Don’t allow them to touch you due to your hedge of protection.  I usually pray for a steel hedge.

Reduce expectations.  If you go into a situation looking to have a great experience, then you may be disappointed.  You probably will be at least a little disappointed.  Go into a situation with no, or low, expectations.

Decide ahead of time to add an extra dose of acceptance, humor, or whatever it takes to get through your new experience.

Decide to not be intimidated or frustrated or offended or insulted by anything.  There are a lot of qualifiers in that sentence.  The Lord is your source, not anyone on earth.  Look to Him if you start feeling any negative emotion.

If I had done any of this, then the first 35 minutes of today’s service, which was filled with announcements and music, would not have confused me, because I would not have expected to hear a sermon any sooner than it came.  I realized after the fact that I found I was surprised every time I thought they were going to finally begin preaching, but they went to yet another announcement.

I need to make my quest for a new church with a lot more humility – I simply do not know the best way to run a church service.  I need to remove all expectations and refuse to be hurt or offended by any jokes that are made.  I need to be well prayed up so I can laugh and enjoy the experience.  I need to remember that I love to laugh, and to look for opportunities to do so.

The Lord did, after all, create humor and laughter.