God Loves You Anyway

Januaary 31, 2017

Let’s face it, and admit it, we all make mistakes. We goof up. I’d like to think most of the time it’s accidental, like when you say you will attend an event but don’t. You simply put it on the wrong date in your agenda and you miss it. So, did you technically lie about attending? It doesn’t matter. It was an error. You messed up in a pretty minor way, but minor mistakes can have major implications.

Simplistic illustration here: Remember the op scan tests you took in school? Imagine being exactly one bubble off. This happened to me. It has happened to others. So every question from that point on was just a little off, and some were even correct by happenstance. But, overall, the effects were painful. Small errors can have long-term consequences.

We have all said things we shouldn’t have said, and we have all missed opportunities to say things we should have. I work hard to not look back at all my mistakes, and I’m working at forgiving myself and forgetting many of them. But I can recall too many times when I should have stopped speaking and let the conversation die. Instead, it was just so important to me to make my point – to what end? That didn’t matter to me at the time. And there were times when I should have stood up for someone, but failed.

The Bible, in its infinite wisdom, acknowledges all this in Romans 3:23, when it states, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” That’s right, the good thing about messing up is that you’re in good company. In fact, you’re in company with, literally, every person in the world. We all mess up! We all have messed up and will mess up again. Even with the best of intentions, I will again fail. I will say something I shouldn’t, do something I shouldn’t, and not say or do something that I should.

Sure, we can make excuses for our behavior or lack of behavior. I could teach a course on Rationalization . . .  “Well, you need to know that . . . “ or “If things had been different then I never would have, but considering . . . .” It’s easy to do. That doesn’t make it right.

One of the absolutely amazing things about our Lord is that, He loves me anyway. I mean, I’ve messed up bad. I can be mean. God still loves me. I am a divorced Christian woman (isn’t divorced Christian an oxymoron?). God still loves me. I have evil thoughts about strangers (remember, I drive in Atlanta) as well as people I know and really, really love. Doesn’t matter. God loves me anyway. I sin – sometimes unintentionally, but sometimes with eyes wide open (that speed limit allows for five miles over, right? It doesn’t matter to me that I signed a contract with the state saying I would obey all traffic laws.). God still loves me.

In math terms (I’m a math and grammar nerd, which makes for a rough life), we know that God = Love, and according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.”

So, continuing with our math example, we can substitute the name God (or Holy Spirit or Jesus since the triune God is three in one, a mathematical miracle and mystery) every time the word Love is used. So, God is patient and kind; God does not envy or boast; God is not arrogant or rude. God does not insist on His own way; God is not irritable or resentful;  God does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  God bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. God never ends.

This is nothing short of AMAZING! God loves you so much, that He has been, will be, and is patient and kind toward you. God is never envious so doesn’t have to worry about making Himself look good. God is not arrogant or rude, even when I am/we are. God does not rejoice at wrongdoing.

Okay, this one is hard for me. When I’m watching football game, for instance, specifically my favorite team of whomever is playing Dallas at the moment, I not only want my team to do well, but sometimes I have to count on those cowboys messing up. Not God – even in real life examples, not football.

God rejoices with truth, so every time I live in truth, God – Whom I would expect to have better things to do by the way – God rejoices! So, not only does God love me Anyway, He just plains Loves me! And You!

This is specifically where I began . . . God bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. There is NOTHING I can do to stop God from loving me. There is nothing I can fail to do that will make God stop loving me. No matter what I do, or don’t do, God loves me . . . anyway.

I mess up. I say the wrong things and do the wrong things. I sin. I sin again. I repent, apologize, yet sin again. I keep messing up. Yet . . . and it’s amazing, God loves me anyway. I will make this my mantra for a while, remembering every day that God loves me anyway. Maybe it will help me be more patient, kind, and loving; and less arrogant, rude, irritable, and resentful. Maybe, this is a specific way of being more Christ-like.

Many blessings.

Lindy is an In-house Consultant, Business Coach, Speaker, and Author. She is The Adjunct Executive to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture. You will be more successful when Lindy works with your staff one day a week, with her unique business model. Call 770-912-6192 today.

Lindy is also a Christian Speaker and Author and runs a non-profit. Learn more at http://www.RealmMinistries.net. You can use the same number to contact Lindy about speaking at your events.

The Joy of Lists

January 24, 2017

We all know there are two kinds of people in the world, and for the purposes of this article, those two people are those who make lists and those who don’t.  I am a list maker.  I believe that the shortest pencil is longer than the longest memory.  Writing things down also means I can remove them from my conscious mind, free my brain to think more clearly.

By the way, when giving a seminar and the topic of lists arises, I ask who are the list makers in the room.  I receive many hands.  I then ask, of this group only, how many of you add something you’ve accomplished to you list, after you’ve finished it, for the joy of crossing it off.  Albeit with sheepish expressions, the majority will admit to this.

One of the joys of lists is the great feeling of crossing things off that list!  It feels good to make your check mark or cross through it.  I find it a little less satisfying deleting things from an electronic list, but you get the joy of seeing the list shrink.

Other joys of list making, besides the two listed above – getting things out of your brain and feelings of accomplishment, include but are not limited to . . . being organized.  A list tells you what you are supposed to accomplish.  If you A, B, C the list, and I strongly recommend it, then you know not only what to do first, but what has to be completed before moving forward or, even worse, getting sidetracked.

Another joy is the lack of stress.  When you have, for example, a list of things to do, or people to whom you owe money, or a list of goals to achieve, you can rely on what you see in black and white.  If something isn’t important enough to make it onto a list, it isn’t worth your energy and angst, so you can relax if you miss it.  Also, being on the list, you won’t miss important events and things to do.

Lists can even make you feel better when you’re feeling really crummy.  That’s right, you can make a list your blessings, so you can feel better about life and yourself.  If you still don’t feel great, then create a list of your attributes.  List the people who you love and love you – they don’t have to be all the same people.

You can list your goals then list what it will take to achieve those goals.  List what three things you will do within seven days.  List one thing you will do within 24 hours.  This physical activity will remind you that you do have control over your perspective and your life.  You will feel so much better in a very short amount of time.  You can perform this task verbally or mentally, for instance if you’re in the car, but it’s far better to physically write the lists.

So being a list maker can create great amounts of joy for list makers. Maybe the others can list what’s wrong with making lis . . . never mind.

Lindy is an In-house Consultant, Business Coach, Speaker, and Author.  She is The Adjunct Executive to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture. You will be more successful when Lindy works with your staff one day a week, with her unique business model. Call 770-912-6192 today.

It’s a Matter of Perspective

January 17, 2017

We’ve heard all clichés, such as, “Is the glass half full or half empty?”  There’s no doubt that our attitude and perspective will affect how we see things.  The day of the week, whether we’re getting along with our spouse, the politeness or lack thereof of a server, other drivers . . . can all affect our moods.  So, it’s important to check your perspective regularly.

A few years ago I heard the following story:  An old man lived with his grown son when his son broke his leg.  All his friends and neighbors came to say how sorry they were at this horrible situation.

The man replied, “It is neither good nor bad.  It simply is.”

Soon after the country erupted in war and young men were called to battle.  Because of his son’s casualty, he could not serve and was able to stay home with his father.  All his friends and neighbors came to say how happy they were at this fortunate turn of events.

The man replied, “It is neither good nor bad.  It simply is.”

Well, the story continues with seeming malady followed by fortune time after time, and while all the others in the area were quick to mourn or celebrate, the man kept a quiet outlook, saying it’s neither good nor bad, it just is.

This man’s perspective is both good and bad.  It keeps one from getting upset in bad times, but it also keeps us from rejoicing in the good times.  You’ve heard that attitude determines altitude.  I believe that perspective, like attitude, is a choice.

You can choose to see the forest or the trees.  Sometimes we need to look at the overall picture, the forest, especially when we’re going through a hard time.  For instance, during a bad economy, with no raises in sight, concentrate on the big picture—having a job, a home, healthy family members.

We concentrate on the trees when we want to celebrate accomplishments.  A child graduated, there’s a wedding or new baby, a promotion or new job.  The emphasis should be on the person, the tree, not the forest.  Even in a bad economy, we can celebrate a graduation or dance recital.

You need to know and believe that perspective is not set in cement; it’s set in your mind.  When you change your mindset, you change your perspective; when you change your attitude, you change your circumstances.

So the question becomes, how do we determine our perspective?  First, remember that your perspective, like your attitude, is your choice.  It’s like getting dressed every morning, and opting for jeans and a t-shirt or slacks and a button down.  What you don helps determine your behavior.

So you must decide daily, sometimes hourly, that you will have a positive perspective.  You will choose to see the good in a situation and look for the silver lining.  For a time in my life, my mantra was, “Look for the good.”  You may have to stretch some days, but there is always good in a situation if you look for it.

If you have baggage from your childhood, deal with it.  Sadly, some of our challenges are brought with us, some for years.  If you have issues, please deal with them.  If it means seeing a professional, or confronting a family member, first practice with a safe partner, then deal with it.  You will feel a hundred pounds have been lifted from your shoulders, and your perspective will be more positive.

If you don’t get along with one person, that happens.  But if you can’t get along with anyone, the problem isn’t them.  Look at the situations where there are challenges, and find the common link.  If it’s you, own up to it, and take steps to correct it.  If it’s not you, look for non-confrontative ways to make it/them better.

Still working with idea above, if it is you, then don’t try to fix things overnight.  You don’t get yourself into severe financial difficulties, or extremely overweight, in one day, and you’re not going to make the corrections in one day.  Change who you are, one degree at a time.  Set quantitative goals with numbers and dates so you can see your growth.  For example, if you have an anger issue, resolve to go even an hour without expressing annoyance.  Once you can consistently last an hour, set a goal of half a day, then a full day.  Soon you’ll have spent a week without an angry outburst because you’ve found other ways of dealing with your anger.

Consider how you see things.  If you’ve always been a black or white person, there may be room for movement.  For instance, if you take a piece of light grey paper and put it next to a piece of black paper, it will look white.  But if you put it next to a piece of white paper, it will look grey.  Recognize that there are extenuating circumstances and try to live in the middle when it comes to things that really don’t matter.  For example, if somebody wants to meet at 6:30 instead of 7:00, does it really matter?  I’m not asking you to give in on important decisions in your life, just the small things that really don’t matter.

So, how will these things affect you?  First, from a personal perspective, list some of the good things about yourself:  you’re attractive; you have a job; you’re well groomed; you’re a nice person.  If people are missing this, it is their loss.  But, if people are missing this, why aren’t you letting them see you as you really are?  Are you hiding your good points behind shyness?

Second, from a social perspective, with the right perspective, you can be more socially successfully.  You will seek out others, and people will want to be with you.   As you have a more positive perspective, you will be more positive around others and enjoy more friendships and a better social situation.

From a financial perspective, do what you want for the right reasons.  Stop spending money to impress or lure others. Being a solvent person reduces stress and makes you more attractive because you don’t define yourself by money.  When you’re in control of your finances, you’re more comfortable and confident and you’ll have a better perspective in life.

Fourth, with a better professional perspective, you’ll be able to see that you’re a great employee and the company needs your talents.  If this isn’t true, make it true!  Now.  If it is true, enjoy the situation you have created by being a good employee, and enjoy your success.

Perspective is how we choose to see things.  You can choose to see that the world is out to get you, but that doesn’t mean it’s true.  It can be very difficult to create and keep an attitude of gratitude, but it will make you a more positive, encouraging, attractive person.  Start every day with a positive attitude, and let it determine your altitude.

Evaluation Time

January 10, 2017

In my world, as a Professor and as a Speaker, I am often reviewed using an Evaluation Form.  Employees, similarly, are reviewed using evaluation forms.  The questions tend to be rated on a Likert Scale, and tend to discuss things like:  Objectives were clearly met and Well prepared or Had knowledge.

Then, this is where the Likert Scale is used, options from Strongly Disagree to Strongly Agree are offered.  I have repeatedly seen two quantitative challenges with this part of the form . . . Too often no neutral option is offered, forcing a positive or negative response, thus nullifying the results.  So the evaluation is statistically useless.  Many companies and people really don’t care though.  Further, too often an option of Does Not Apply is not offered, so people who have no clue are rating someone without any knowledge, because DNA is not an option. Again, statistically poor reporting.

The real question, of course, is What is being evaluated.  Too often, the questions are rather broad based – did the Speaker show knowledge of the topic addressed?  Well, possibly the Speaker had to dumb down their talk because the audience was not up to the task of handling all the knowledge the Speaker has.  But enough about poor Evaluations.

Let’s evaluate, before the year begins, what 2017 will be.  Attitude determines your Altitude, so if you decide now to make 2017 your best year yet, there is a higher probability that you will.  So, what will you evaluate?

How about, meaningful time spent with loved ones?  This will mean setting appointments for school plays and lunches and honoring those commitments.  Start now.

How about destressing your life by tossing at least one thing a day (or seven on the weekend) from your life? No, not people.  Well, maybe people, but not your immediate family.  Maybe some members of your immediate family.

People tend to agree that less is more.  People find they have more to wear when they clean out their closets and get rid of the clothes that don’t fit or flatter them – that were just in the way.  Toss!  How many pens do you need in your desk? Toss all but three.

What one thing, as a child, did you aspire to be?  A piano player? Author? Golfer?  If you still have that dream, make it happen in 2017.

Take time now to evaluate the year before you, and ensure your evaluation will be completely positive, by filling it out ahead of time.

Spends time with children? Yes.

Plans and goes on dates with spouse?  Ten out of ten.

Recaptured youthful joy.  You know it.

You can do this!  Start now to create a wonderful year for yourself.  Write your own evaluation form and check it off, week by week, to see your success.

Lindy Earl is a first-class Corporate and Individual Business Coach who can make you, and your company, more successful.  Have her in one day a week and see your Corporate Culture improve before your eyes, even as your Attrition drops. And/or, invite Lindy to speak at your next event.  You can also contact Lindy about the books she has authored.  Act now . . . 2017 has already begun!

Full Obedience

January 2017

In 1 Samuel 15:1-10 Samuel said to Saul, “I am the one the Lord sent to anoint you king over his people Israel; so listen (with a view to obeying) now to the message from the Lord.  This is what the Lord Almighty says: “I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt.  Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy (emphasis mine) everything that belongs to them.  Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.’”

So Saul summoned the men and mustered them at Telaim—two hundred thousand foot soldiers and ten thousand men from Judah.  Saul went to the city of Amalek and set an ambush in the ravine.  Then he said to the Kenites, “Go away, leave the Amalekites so that I do not destroy you along with them; for you showed kindness to all the Israelites when they came up out of Egypt.” So the Kenites moved away from the Amalekites.

Then Saul attacked the Amalekites all the way from Havilah to Shur, to the east of Egypt.  He took Agag, king of the Amalekites, alive, and all his people he totally destroyed with the sword.  But Saul and the army spared Agag and the best of the sheep and cattle, the fat calves and lambs—everything that was good.  These they were unwilling to destroy completely, but everything that was despised and weak they totally destroyed.

Then the word of the Lord came to Samuel: “I am grieved that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from Me and has not carried out My instructions.”

Anything less than full obedience is disobedience and GRIEVES the LORD.

That’s my thesis in this article.  Anything less than full obedience is disobedience.  It’s the same concept that Half a Truth is a Whole Lie.  Have you heard that?

A few friends and I shared that thought in High School, but we were the weird ones.  No, we weren’t Christians and it wasn’t on Christian principles we believed it.  We just found that adage and adopted it.  But, other girls our age didn’t agree.  White lies don’t hurt, right?  It’s for a good reason, right?

It wasn’t until years later that I came to Christ, and years after that when I found this verse and concept in the Bible. Full obedience.

Let’s see how we feel when people we know, neighbors, colleagues, or children, treat us this way.  We ask somebody to do something for us, and they kind of sort of do it, but not quite.  It’s when we ask our children to do the dishes, knowing we mean to clean the kitchen, and we return to find dishes in the dishwasher, but the counter unwiped, the floor unswept, and the room just not clean.  That’s less than full obedience, but they have you on a technicality.  Do you find that funny?  Amusing? Insightful on their part?  Were you proud of their legalistic abilities?

God doesn’t like it either.  In fact, in 1 Samuel 15:22, it say, “But Samuel replied (to Saul),“Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord?  To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.””

We can’t explain away our disobedience, or choose to obey in another way (but I offered the cattle in sacrifice just doesn’t cut it!).

So while the Lord wants full obedience, even when we err, there’s still something to be done.

The best thing to do when we’re found in disobedience, is to admit it.

“Yes, I did that.”  Four little words, but they can be so hard to say!

Second, apologize.

“Yes, I did that.  And I’m sorry.”  Three words added behind the first four, but what an impact they’ll have!  Admit and apologize—what a strong combination.

Third, rectify.

“Yes, I did that.  I’m sorry.  What can I do?”

That shows true remorse.  You’re willing to try to undo any damage.  You’ve taken the burden back upon yourself.  That shows maturity.

The Lord wants full obedience, but He doesn’t always get it.  He didn’t get it from the Israelites, he didn’t get it from great men of the Bible (do some research on Moses, Saul, and David), and He doesn’t always get it from us.  But PTL, He does offer us second chances.  The goal is to make up for our disobedience when we can, and put forth the effort to live in 100% obedience in the future.

According to 1 Samuel 15:35, “Until the day Samuel died, he did not go to see Saul again, though Samuel mourned for him.  And the Lord was grieved that He had made Saul king over Israel.”  This is years later and the Lord was still grieved.  Let’s do our best to live in obedience, so that we won’t grieve our Lord.

First Things First

January 3, 2017

Do you have a bucket list?  It may not be called that, but do you have a list of things, written or not, that you want to accomplish?  It may have changed over the years.  Education may have been on there once, but you’ve accepted that it may not happen.  The same may be true with travel.  Relationships may never be mended, despite being on your list, because of time, distance, or even death.  Things change.

Remember when you kept a To-Do list?  It’s amazing how having a list of tasks to be accomplished, right there in black and white, can help you accomplish more.  It especially helps if you follow the ABC rule and complete your list of A tasks without allowing distractions to interrupt you.  Research has shown that, not only are you more productive when you do this, but others around you, and who work for you, are more productive as well.  They know that you aren’t available to make decisions for them, so they choose their direction.  They accept more responsibility and are happier for it.  More is accomplished, by you and others, all because of a simple list.

So, as we commence a new year, stop and think, what’s on your bucket list , and what’s on your To Do list, day by day?  How are the two working together?  Is it time to make some small changes?  Do you need to make some calls to reconnect with people from your past or mend some fences?  I did that with an old beau last year . . . he wouldn’t talk to me.  It hurt my feelings, but at least I tried.  Do you need to change your diet and exercise?  Is it time to stop fooling yourself about your job?  Do you feel stuck or are you enjoying your work?  Are you ready to plan some weekends away?

How you answer these questions, or if you answer them at all, is minor compared to the real task at hand . . . what action will you take, today, to make useful changes in your life?  Knowing you’re unhappy means nothing if you don’t change anything.  Failing to follow your dreams will just give you yet another year of unfulfillment.  Sadly, those feelings may creep into your attitude, your thoughts and behavior, and your relationships.

So whether you first look at the big picture, and realize you have dreams that you want to work toward, or whether you look at your daily routine and see steps to be happier, now is the time to act.

Lindy is an In-house Consultant, Business Coach, Speaker, and Author.  She is The Adjunct Executive to companies and departments with 50 – 100 employees, focusing on Communication, Leadership, and Corporate Culture. You will be more successful when Lindy works with your staff one day a week, with her unique business model. Call her at 770-912-6192 today.